Sunday, August 30, 2009

Why Do I Blog....

Trust me I have been asked this a time or two and usually by people that don't actually know what a blog is or how to go about finding one or even believe it or not how to read one. I'll mention it and say "Oh, you should read mine sometime - I'll send you the link." I do and they email/snailmail me back and say "Thanks - I really do want to read it but where is it?" SWEAR to God. This is starting to feel like work people...just click on the little blue part that says Close your eyes & make a wish and pat your head....and there ya go. Now back to why I write a blog. Raise your hand if you have a facebook page - some of you have no clue what that is either but no one pays me enough to walk you thru that -and if you do have a facebook page now raise your hand if you have kids. Kids that are shocked and appalled and not too happy that you have joined the Facebook Train or God forbid you even have a Myspace page (Okay, that one was waaay beyond me). Now just imagine those same little snots that snicker and call you a creeper or loser cause you are tooo old for FB....just picture their formerly angelic faces when you tell them NOT ONLY are you armed and dangerous with FB but you - thank you very much have a BLOG.... Talk about a total freakin power rush!!! You will actually see them start to sweat as this all sinks in...and let me tell you there is nothing they want you yakking about if it involves them and you and the rest of the world. This works waaaay better than "Just wait til your father gets home!!" That never worked in my house anyway cause he was always FUNDADDY and I was the one they were worried about. Quick favorite kid story - Fundaddy had them all excited one day about taking them somewhere to do something fabulous and they looked at him and ran to me saying "Mommy CAN we???" Ha - now we know who is the boss - who's having fun now???Oh, yea Mommy cause she has a blog and even with teenagers that think they are in control I'm finding that if necessary all I have to say is "Go right ahead - I can't wait to blog about that" or "Don't make me blog about this" works really well too. You prolly don't even have to write a blog you can just pretend you do and scare the crap out of your kids. Trust me it is power and it feels good.

Saturday, August 29, 2009

Stilettos vs. vibrators

Well, well, well....whatever YOU are thinking right now says a lot about you. And we'd all prolly get kicked off this site cause we have to keep this sorta PG32 - slightly racier than R but not X cause I think "they" would shut me down. And SOMEDAY my children might read this. But according to my stats ONLY 13 people are following so who really cares. What I'd really like to know is who has an idea about what this title means...which one is better? Well, I really love all my sky high shoes and as for the second if you've been reading this blog go back a few and you will see this is really just good ole PG 32. The only thing vibrating around here lately has been my eyelashes. Due to that fancy vibrating mascara. And as happy as they have been with that -Wonderman had a problem with it....well, he was the first to notice that while they might be happy they were not as long and fabulous as they had been. Dang if he wasn't right!!! I checked them out in the "big"side of my mirror - and ladies if you are not using one of those fab mirrors that flips from "I look great" to "OMG WHAT THE HELL IS THAT" you really do need to start. All kind of crap is happening and without the "big" side you just really don't know and trust me it is not always a good thing. Somethings just need fixing and if ya can't even SEE them then how can you fix them???? So, sure enough he is right (still counting on one hand though....female joke) and my lashes are definitely shorter. That is where the stilettos come in....Maybelline also has a slightly less newer mascara (what is up with that??? Every other month they come out with a NEW mascara. I've lost count how many there are...) called Stiletto and let me just tell you it may not vibrate but boy do your eyelashes look amazing. And it stays on forever. Only trick is do it one eye at a time - do not let it try between swipes. Keep putting more on until it is as thick as you like just don't let it dry in between each coat. That is old school. Read the directions on the newer mascaras and that is very important or you will not like them. So things have been quieter around here but the lashes are touching my eyebrows again. Thanks to Stiletto and Latisse. Okay, and Wonderman. He just loves my long eyelashes.
Food update!!! I have a new way to eat my favorite Tuscany Bruschetta stuff from Sam's....I was enjoying a sliced tomato sandwich the other day even after I almost sliced my finger off...when the idea came to me dang this is good but is it worth a finger - I think not - must be a better way. OMG instead of sliced tomatoes and all that work - just spoon a couple of spoons of heaven in a jar between two slices of bread with just a tad of mayo and if you have it a slice or two of bacon and it just doesn't get any better than that. Unless you could come up with a way to take all the calories out of food so that you could eat a LOT of these sandwiches and never gain any weight or run out of heaven in a jar. I have tried to go into Sams JUST to get this stuff and $365.42 later.....this is one very expensive jar of heaven. I don't think it can be done. My real problem is I have to have this from Sam's and then my frozen pizza and the best shrimp you will ever ever ever have come only from Costco....and it is the same vacuum hole as Sam's. I want two things and come out with a rear end load of stuff we just have to have. Back to the shrimp - those of you that have been to a party with us lately know all about the amazing shrimp appetizer we have been showing up with and let me just share with the rest it is making us VERY popular on the party circuit. Here is the kicker. Wonderman makes it...(now I can too but why????Even Gman makes it cause he is hungry and mom and dad are out partying) and that is awesome cause it gives me more time to make my eyelashes happy and get ready and stuff. But the shrimp comes from Costco - in their seafood counter not the frozen stuff. Black tiger prawns EZ peel and it is no joke very easy to peel and devein (specially for me cause he is doing it!!! Eyelashes aren't the only happy things in my house). Now I'd love to share the recipe but he'd have a fit....just saute it on the stove in butter, olive oil, garlic, white wine and lemon juice with a splash of worcetershire sauce( you know what I mean and can't spell and to lazy to go to kitchen and dig it out of fridge so deal. Brown bottle.) Til shrimp turn pink. Dump in more garlic and slice up some bread and stand back they will tackle you to get to it. Just be prepared for the angry ones that didn't get any....By the third party they are waiting at the street for us to get there and we are usually late but we do show up with this so all is forgiven.

Tuesday, August 25, 2009

Life Goes On

Not to worry - no tissues needed tonight! Just Good Stuff and Happy Times!!! Just love the first week of school...especially the first day. Can't you still remember every first day of school of your life???? And the night before dream where you didn't have ANY pencils and OMG that was like the worst thing ever that could possibly happen on THAT day....what the hell was wrong with us??? I mean borrow a freakin pencil from that nerdy kid that always had them on the first day and you know every single class in the whole world had THAT kid in it. With all his pencils lined up on top of his desk. Just beggin to be borrowed...anyway I know I got a little sentimental last night but give me a break - Baby Girl is gone - so I can cry if I want to, but not tonight. Tonight I have Good Stuff to share and I just enjoyed a wonderful grilled pizza from my very own back yard so I am full and happy.( For any newbies to the blog now is a really good time to pause and go back to start do not collect $200...all the way back to the very first post - since we are celebrating the FIRST week of school you can start at the beginning and very FIRST blog. This will not only help you understand this whole process and me but even better you to will find out how to grill pizza in your very own backyard.) Not only do I have a freshman starting college I also have a freshman starting high school this week. Do the math - save time - I'm old as dirt. Best part is Wonderman is younger which makes me a Cougar!!! LOVE that...waaaay before my time on that one. Anyway, being a freshman anywhere is tough. Especially the first day - and I am happy to report that all went well. Everyone had their pencils. *****OMG *****just got a text from BABY GIRl.....and these are four words you NEVER want to read from your first born on the second day of her first week away "GUESS what I got?" Well, me I got Instant gray will all be shocked when you see me for the FIRST time freakin white out...AND I said, "OMG - please not a tattoo or body piercing!!!" And she texted "Nope, a marshmellow milkshake!" Do I love her or what???? I think she may be the BEST COLLEGE KID ever. TAAA DAAA her new nickname...Think she will like it???Prolly not. Too damn bad. I'm gonna have to blonde all this gray before I go anywhere tomorrow. Speakin of which - good stuff alert - start blonding your own hair!! I do and it is so easy and you will save gobs of money and time....L'Oreal Preference is fool proof. Just pick out a pretty girl on the box with hair a color you like and wha laaaa...because you are worth it. Which reminds me of Mad Men (all about advertising) and guess what???I'm still in season two trying to catch up but there is now a skinny girl on the show. SHOCKING. And I am pretty sure she is after her boss who is after everyone but her and I think she is going to run off with another married boss. Now the main wife Betty is not fat. She is just so repressed it makes me crazy. Grow a pair. Laugh a little. She won't even talk with her girlfriends and that is just a sin in my book...anyway you watch - skinny one is going to be big trouble. Also check out Drop Dead Diva - new show just started so download and catch up...great twist on the whole fatgirl/skinnygirl thing...Back to Little Brother and his first week of high school. First of all, he ain't so little. 14 yrs. old until November 14 and 5'11 1/2. Today we bought a pair of size 13 shoes. For him. He's been so great with all the world revolving around Baby Girl (now to be known as Best College Kid Ever) for the last three weeks. But, She has been gone 6 days and in the last five I have seen a lot of dick flicks. WHAAAAt who said that??? Sorry I was trying to come up with a play on CHICK FLICKS and well, sorry but that kinda works. DEAL. Girl is gone and the boys have been going to the movies with me. In the last five days we have seen - Inglorious Basterds (my choice - hello!!! Brad Pitt) LOVED it and want to do it again. And District 9 - three votes and it was just okay....long & been there done that before. Must say Steve Carrell did an excellent job with the accent. I think GI Joe is next. Again my choice - Chan Tatum hello!!!!!See I am really getting the hang of this whole dick flick - I think there was even another pun in that one! Which reminds me great new show on HBO - Hung...check it out. So I think I can go from girly girl mom to hangin with my boys and survive....just in case though I have another abandoned girly girl mom to go see a chick flick with this Friday and we can't wait. Movie got not so great reviews but it has Ashton (Mr. Moore) naked having lots of sex...who cares if the plot needs work??? Life Goes On....Wonderman is begging me to stop and come to bed really does go on.

Monday, August 24, 2009

Back to School

Wow... been awhile. Almost forgot how to login!! That would be embarrassing. Stop laughing it could very well happen...then what??? Better write this stuff down somewhere...been busy with Baby Girl. College. Lots to do and be happy/sad about. Won't know until YOU do it and then you'll go ,"Oh, that's why she went kinda a wonky for a while!!" Just yesterday she was this amazing little person that just filled my everyday with wonder just by watching her breathe. Trust me this was a HUGE part of my day. Then, I got to spend the day just dressing her up...and changing parts of her clothes that needed changing. Soon it was just watching her move around. Then sounds. Then words. Then steps. And all the million little things that happen every day when your whole world becomes this little person that you and someone special made. MADE. We all know how that happens, but when it does and you did it. Well, it all changes. And then the time just goes....flies and keeps going and before you know it - it is all happening and you love it but you want to slow it all down but you can't. You just hold on tight and try to make it last. And take lots of pictures and if you are really smart you will journal around those pictures cause you will not believe all the stuff you forget. And then one day... you realize you are done and it is time to let go......and it will be the happiest/hardiest/easiest/longest day of your life. And then you hug her one more time - really tight and walk away and get in your car and start driving home....ten minutes later you start texting her to make sure SHE is alright cause YOU are but you are just worried about her.... and that my friends is sending your first born off to college. Amazing and wonderful and so proud. Fly Baby Girl...Fly.
Okay. She prolly wants and deserves a new name now. Cause she is all grown up and flown away so she deserves it. And she is prolly gonna wanta kill me for getting all mushy. See, she thinks I didn't cry when she left and that really ticked her off. But, I'm just a tough old bird that doesn't like to do that in front of the little ones I have been guarding and protecting all these years. But, I am crying and using lots and lots and lots of tissues right now. And even though I was gonna write about some really important , amazing and new things I just love and can't live without - all I can think about is her. And how much she means to us and how much we will miss her and how very, very, very proud we are of her. Fly Baby Girl Fly....

Thursday, August 13, 2009

Good Vibrations

Ha! Prolly got your attention??? Here is how it all load of us girls going to a PTA meeting...scratch that - prolly a tennis match. I'm in the middle seat with three other friends. Yakking away. Nothing important. Front seat conversation slightly more interesting....something was "amazing!!" "BEST ever - will never go back to the old way..." "Bigger and better!". Blah Blah Blah...all coming from the front seat. Then I overhear the word "vibrations"...SCUUUZE me! What are they talking about up there????Some kind of vibrating something that is life altering. Well, we all remember the best ever episode of Sex and the City....Charlotte and the wabbittt. yea - I can spell rabbit. Seriously...if there is something out there better than that well.....we need to know. So - it is my job to find out. What are ya'll talking about? And that is when I hear the word - mascara. WTF??? MASCARA? Really?? Of all the things that can benefit from vibrations someone comes up with eyelashes? Well. That is just silly. What a waste of vibrations. But, my friend is going on and on and on about her eyelashes and this Estee Lauder mascara that VIBRATES. Now I'm thinking not only is this silly but how much is this silly gonna cost. And let me tell you...about 15$ more than regular overpriced mascara costs. Now again, I've been there done that and sold and bought high end make up....liked it better when it was free. Since then I've been very happy with the drugstore variety...some more than others. So all this extra for vibrating mascara was not working for me. Not that there is anything wrong with things that vibrate...but happy eyelashes just don't seem worth the extra money to forward to about two weeks ago Baby Girl and I are at Walgreens and Maybelline has a brand new display case up for their newest and bestest mascara. Guess what it does??? Yep. It vibrates. Now Lauder's vibrates for about 35.00$ and this one will make your eyes happy for about I'm thinking -less than half price - does it really work??? MY followers prolly WANT to know. So we buy one. Felt kinda dirty. Never bought anything before that does THAT. YOU know what I mean. Now you know I already have crazy long fab lashes cause I've been using Latisse and yes, it works. So I can't wait to see if vibrating mascara gives me happy eyes. Next day I use it. Kinda scared to have something vibrating and all that close to my eyeballs and eye site but I do it.....makes a lot more noise than just plain ole mascara. Goes on nice and smooth and thick but not clumpy. Takes a while to get used to pushing the button that makes it vibrate....but all in all my lashes look good - and happy. Could be the Latisse. So the next day I use it on one eye with the magic vibrating button and the other eye without the vibrating button.Gotta admit - one eye looked happier than the other eye. So maybe things that vibrate work after all....So I would suggest trying the Maybelline version of happy eyes first...and remember "Happy is as Happy does..." I know that just sounds silly. But so does vibrating mascara.

Monday, August 10, 2009

Just another Monday

Another Monday...prolly one of my favorite days. Usually follows a wonderful weekend no matter what. Sunday night is my favorite ever night of the week. This one was shared with fun neighbors - their treat for a fabulous dinner and company. Wha la. Morning rolls around and hubby is off to work and since it is summer/slumber time the rest are sleeping. 'Cept for me...I am in the middle of a really really good book. Heaven on EARTH when this happens...can't stop thinking about it. Just want to read it and finish it. AND just want it to go on forever. Sooooo. Pot of coffee is ready - dogs and kids are quiet. Book is in my hands....guess you would like to know what the book is??? Funny thing bout that. I tried to read this book about a year ago when I first heard about it and I am embarrassed to say I made it to about page six when I decided life is too short and I have a gazillion books in my to read cabinet by my bed and this one is just not grabbing me... To many names, places & things in Sweden with a gazillion letters . MY teenie tiny brain was thinking about all those juicy, nasty, fun, easy books I like piled up beside my bed. So I stopped. Over the next year this book never went of the lists or someone raving about it and all the time I was like - yuk... hated it. And very happy reading thru my stack of nasty stuff...nothing wrong with that either. Hubby likey....

Anyhooo - not only does this book not go away but the sequel is published and dang if not God and everybody is raving about it too. Hate it when that happens and I'm being stubborn. Then one of my very dearest special friends chooses it for her bookclub selection. This is sacred in my 'hood. The chosen book is special to someone and therefore should be read. Even worse I had to miss bookclub for something even more important to Baby Girl. And all of this started to remind me of another book long long long ago that I treated the same way. Tried it, hated it, stopped it. KEPT seeing it at the very top of every single book lover's list of lifes best books. What was I not getting? Thank goodness for that one I went back the THIRD time and it grabbed me and to this day I can remember the names James Fraser and Claire Randall....brownie points and a free trip to Opa ( I wish...) if you know the book....Outlander Series by Diana Gabaldon. A Gazillion pages of wonderful and worth every one. For those of you that know me - you know I have onset Oldzimeres and can't remember shit.... but I will never forget those two characters... ever. Best of the best books ever.

So back to today - Monday. I NEED to be doing house stuff. Laundry (major problem), kitchen a wreck - whole freakin house a wreck!! And what do I do....cup of coffee and this book I can't put down. The Girl With the Dragon you that have read it are prolly laughing and thinking what a dumb ass...she didn't like this the first time? Well, have you read my fun, easy, nasty stuff??? there I am torn between another five pages and cold coffee that needs refilling... and the freakin time is flying by....finally the restless leg thing kicks in and the only thing keeping me from reading 24/7. The need to get up and move. And Pee. I've had a whole pot of coffee by now. I just happen to notice that is not 7:00 am anymore it is 9:45. Should have done some laundry by now...oh, yea - put a load in when I made the coffee and it has been sitting dry so I go get it and turn on the tv. God just loves to get ya back for goofin off. Time 9:55 and the channel is Fox 4 here or as I call it - What amazing shoes is Kelly wearing today? More on her later. LOOOOVE her and her shoes!!! Want to be her in my next life. Four minutes left and just take a big guess who her co star host is today???? Not EEGIS... love him too. But - NOOOO the freakin show is almost over and it is - Ashton Moore. Otherwise known as Demi's husband and the most beautiful person on the planet. OMG. I love to read but come ON. How could I miss and hour of doing laundry and watching Mr. Moore be himself. Could he be any cuter??? I think not. Could he be any smarter? Married to a foxy older woman? I think not. I am dying and they are showing a clip of his newest movie ( can't wait) but still. It is over. And I missed it and I should have been doing my housewifely this is my punishment. I deserve it but I don't like it...and for the record I never ever watched that 70's show he was so famous for...honestly tried but had rather be reading my juicy, nasty books. Even when she married him I was like WTH?? don't get it.

And then he started dressing like a grown up. Like a very cool, rich, stylish grown up. And oh yea, wowser. I got it. She is no dumb chickie - and I loved Bruce too. Love me a bald man. Wonderman - you know I do! Semi private joke. But Mr. Ashton in a nice set of duds with the Mrs. on his arm and he is all - love her, love her kids, love her ex!!! Now that is amazing. Hotter than Bradgalina and all their little cute kids. Hot young guy with a slightly older woman over Super hot guy with scary hot woman and lots of kids - Ashton every time!! And I missed it... almost ruined my day. Till I realizied hey, wait a minute!!! I am a slightly older woman married to slightly younger hot man - that was bald for a short time -and while we don't have any ex's to love we do have two amazing kids and I just finished a fab book and I have a whole cabinet of still to read nasty ones... and some clean laundry - what could be better than that??? Wha la...hubby is playing tennis tonight and the kids are taking themselves out to a movie and dinner...and I get to start my next nasty, juicy, trashy book!!!

Saturday, August 8, 2009

Another Day in Paradise

Let's start with the fact that we were below triple digits...and there was a nice breeze. Made 90 plus feel good. And I had nothing to do, nowhere to be - except floating in my pool. Stack of mags, a book, lemonade and float. Heaven on earth. Wonderman and Baby Girl were off having father/daughter day (lunch of her choice and shopping) while Brother was upstairs recovering from sleepover two nights before. All good and all happy. Why would I ever want to go anywhere else? We just had a great family vacay at Horseshoe Bay Resort and a good time was had by all but I have to say my heaven on earth right in my own backyard is waaay better. The resort was fun we played golf, tennis, drove to Austin for dinner and a fabulous show called Esther's Follies - if you ever get the chance to do this DO much fun!!! Google it and go! We even went ziplining and that is worth the trip alone. Especially when three out of five are terrified of heights....hilarious fun watching them FREAK out - but when it comes to pool time there is just something about the peace and quiet of your own back yard. Minus the adorable little bitty children in swim floats screaming at the top of their lungs as they jumped into the deep end over and over and over and....for freakin hours. Ya see where this is going. And that was the adult pool. and dad were partying it up down at the shallow end while their spawn were "entertaining" us all at the deep end with nonstop high pitched screams as they cannonballed into the deep end and "cooled" us off with a steady stream of water - on us, our books, our mags and our HAIR. And for all you born natural blondes out there I know you are with me on this one...NEVER get your now blonde hair wet in a freakin swimming pool. Not only will it turn your beautiful BLONDE hair green but I had my children (that never ever once SCREAMED at a public pool) convinced that Mommy's hair would not only turn green but fall out if it got wet and that dog paddling was an excellent way to swim - thank you very much. But, I was on VACATION which meant I was PAYING for all this so I sucked it up and sucked some drinks down...and put my big girl panties on an delt with it. And speaking of big is the best part. I was so inspired and uplifted by all the BIG girls prancing around a public pool in little itty bitty bikinis... honestly - I felt very modest in my TANKINI that covered my belly while they were showing God and Everybody that they really loved their food and prolly a few favorite was the girl - at least 20 yrs. younger than me with several spawn jumping in the deep end - that had on a two piece bathing suit that a ten yr. old would have filled out. AND she had a belly like a guy that LOVED his beer and burgers every night or a Ten month pregnant woman. The only thing more shocking than that she was prancing around in this bathing suit was the fact that she was knocking back drinks all day like a sailor on a two hour leave with last call in five minutes.....soooo I'm just thinking asking her when the little one is due is prolly not a good question. About 6:00 Wonderman returns from golfing for the day and joins me for a drink by the pool...took him 29 seconds to zero in on our prancing boozing "pregnant" friend whose spawn by now are passed out in chairs from all the jumping and screaming they've been doing for the last five hours...he too thought she must be pregnant until he noticed she was out drinking everyone at the pool. And then I noticed all the men at the pool prancing around in their suits with their big ole bellies and I realizied...maybe she had the right idea. Rock on Sister! Life is short, summer is even shorter and why worry about the size of your belly. Now - I'll still prolly sport a tankini over a itty bitty two piece but...I think I'll raise a glass to all the big belly girls out there rockin a two piece with a smile. And as for pool time - nothing beats my own backyard where I can sun & read in peace and swim with my now blonde hair IN THE WATER cause we have a salt water pool and that folks does not turn beautiful blonde hair green. And not to brag but Wonderman and Baby Girl returned from their super fun filled day with a rockin hot cutie top for mom and a super cool shirt for Brother. Followed by a night out for Mom and Dad with friends at Sauce on the square in downtown McKinney....if ya don't live here just get here as fast as you can!! Heaven on Earth....or Another Day in Paradise. Oh and p.s. nothing yet from big famous author...she's prolly very busy with her fabulous life but don't you worry - you will be the first to know if she ever does read this blog....but only if she likes it. Why would I ever tell anyone if she told me to shut up?

Thursday, August 6, 2009

Freakin OUT

Okay - I know I said I was only going to blog after dinner/wine but after a really fun bigdinner/lots of wine last night I did something so exciting and crazy (my Wonderman is freaking right now - relax HONEY - I'm not sharing that part!! Let's just say last night was a lot of fun for a lot of people) that this morning I am about to jump out of my skin!!!There will prolly be lots of typos cause I am sooo excited and sweaty and my hands are shaking - jeeze I need to calm down. Back to the part of last night that I can share....I made two new best friends for life(love it when that happens - you can never have too many BFF's, books, shoes, lip gloss, etc. That is great idea for another blog!!! Sorry I am so nervous I am really going to ramble nonstop today) Anyway - I'm getting braver about begging people to read my blog and after they promised they would they told me about one of their fav blogs by one of my fav authors - Jen Lancaster...real name so you too can go buy all her hilarious books. And no you may not borrow mine and never give them back - go BUY them cause that is how she makes a living. So after bigfundinner/boatload of wine and after all that fun stuff I can't share I just couldn't go to sleep. I jes had to go read her blog for myself...and since I was awake and doing something fun I prolly had that one last glass to many after too many. At least I wasn't driving anywhere. Here's the good part - loved her blog and you will too (crap can't spell it so just google jen lancaster blog that is how I found it and I'd had a lot of dinner) so go read hers just don't go ditching mine to read hers cause she is already famous and I'm stilling dreaming about it. It must have been the wine talking cause the next thing I know is I EMAILED HER AND SUGGESTED SHE READ MY BLOG!!!! I know I know I know!!! OMG - this is like drunk dialing old boyfriends (relax again Wonderman I would NEVER and HAVE never done that) I am so freaking out with the possibility that she might that I don't even care if she doesn't. But God Forbid she did -please God let her chuckle just once....see this is HUGE cause she does not know me and could give a rat's ass about me or my blog. But if she did chuckle just once - that would make my day!! Just like when all ya'll that know and love me say nice things about my blog. But you sorta have to cause a) you know me b) it's the nice thing to do and ya'll are all so nice c) if there is any chance in hell that I do end up sitting with Opa one day then all ya'll want to go too.
So that is why I am about to stroke out today...that and it is Thursday which means another meeting of the Bored But Never Boring Housewives!!!! Oh and I almost forgot to tell you about the other most amazing thing that happened last night. First time in 21 yrs. of happily married bliss - relax Wonderman ...not that part!!! But it is about you - remember couple of blogs ago I mentioned the best pasta sauce ever...well the Mezzetta Napa Valley Creamy Marinara was so good that not only did my boys fight each other over who could lick the pan but my Mr.Man (that is what I call him when he is not being my Wonderman) who will not eat leftovers actually asked if I would make the same sphagetti (pasta - really have to get a dictionary) for dinner again. Cause trust me there weren't any leftovers just tongue tracks on all the plates...It is that good folks. Lucky for him I bought two bottles and I have more ground turkey - although I think if I chopped up some old shoes and poured this sauce on 'em it would taste so good he'd never know. So yes he gets it again tonight!! Right after I get home from my meeting...Hope to see ya there!

Tuesday, August 4, 2009

Lots of Good Stuff...

Okay, yesterday I was feeling a little sad and blue. August can be like that for me. Birthday month is over. It is a real bitch coming off the sugar rush of "Yes, it IS my birthday and I'd love to see and eat ALL of the dessert menu!!!!" Summer is ending and school is starting. My First and ONLY BABY GIRL is going school. We are not talking about a school bus ride. We all KNOW how tramatic that was....BABY Girl is going AWAY. To. SCHOOL. Since this is supposed to be fun and funny. We will stop talking about that. And my BABY BOY is going to high school - nothing funny bout that neither. Just means Mama is old as dirt. Dad too. WHO is laughing now. So back to August and summer is over - which means we all have to get up early. ALL of us. ME. See my teenagers aren't the only ones in this house that like to sleep late...they come by it honest. I can sleep like crap all night but from about 6:30 I'm ready to rise and shine about the crack of 11:17. am. Not proud but that is the truth. This has been the strangest summer ever for me. Most days I am wide awake by 6:45 (actually it starts more aroung 3:15 and just goes from there). Finally about 6:45 I just give it up. My brain is going - I am coming up with the most amazing funny stuff ever for ya'll but my computer is in the other room. So this is what you get - much later....This a big secret cause all those dearest to me know - 1) I love to sleep 2) I hate to be woken up by the phone ringing 3) I love tennis but not before 9:00 and I prefer 10:00. 4) I love to sleep - so I have been secretly enjoying the early morning hours - just piddling. That means doing only that which pleases me. Coffee, paper, computer (ya'll), watering the flowers...just quiet happy time stuff. Sorry forgot this was supposed to be funny and entertaining for you. So back to the good stuff....I have lots of favorite stuff to share - I promised face stuff so here ya go. In case you didn't know I've done my time selling and using some of the most wonderful and expensive facial products you can buy. Nothing wrong with them....loved them all. They worked. I'm just cheap. Rephrase. I have found everything I need for less money and excellent results. If you have lots of extra money and you only want to go spend it on fancy products go right ahead. They are fabulous. So are mine. First of all - you have to clean your face every night. No excuses ever. EVER. Don't do it. BIG ZIT. Very simple. All you need is Pond's Deep Cleanser & Make Up Remover. Rub it in wash it off. Go to sleep. And never ever discuss or even THINK about the big zit you saw on someone else's face. It is no joke. You will wake up the next day with the biggest honkin EVER monster zit known to man/woman/teenager ever. My kids come to me with the " Mama, I have this big ...blah blah blah on my blahh blahh blaahh blah and I am running screaming from the room!You do not want to see it or talk about it ever...just tell 'em wash it and use ProActiv ( another very good product and worth every single penny...just order it and show them how to use it and steal their Refining Mask when needed) Every other night after Pond's use Alpha Hydrox 10% Glycolic AHA Anti - Wrinkle - I've had several pre cancerous spots frozen off and this helps keep all that under control. On the other nights I use Olay Regenerist micro sculpting the ads and use it. Why pay more? Daytime - in the shower St Ives Apricot scrub every other day. And most important - Sunscreen every day.... I really like Olay Pro X age repair spf 30 followed with Colore science sunforgettable spf 30 powder. I know that doesn't equal spf 60 but it doesnt hurt. I do live in Texas and I play a lot of tennis and my face is not tan. For that I use a blend of Bare Escentuals bareminerals Faux tan and mineral veil - just mix a little of both together and wha la...perfect skin color. You can too - do the math. If you neck and body is fair more mineral veil...if you have a nice tan more faux tan. Opa's dr. said by the way... tan is not necessarily bad. Burn is. So use your sunscreen and don't burn. Nut brown is not good but a little color is prolly okay. Just see your dermatologist for yearly skin/mole checks - I go every six months. And use your sunscreen. And for your body try Eucerin Everyday Protection Body Lotion spf cancer is not a joke. But laughing is good so let's get back to some of that...Onwards...stuff I love and You might too!!! Okay, I know I went on and on about food yesterday but one more thing. I promise this is the big one...Mezzetta Napa Valley Bistro. Any sauce. Doesn't matter buy them all. We have tried them all and there is not a single one we wouldn't sell one kidney for...Puttanesca, Nonna's Secret Sauce (only EVER found at Walmart), Creamy Marinara ( big first time hit tonight!!), Arribatta, Basil, etc. - seriously the only thing you have to worry about is A)does your grocery store have it and B) can you get the top off. If they don't - tell the store manager (they live for this) and keep one of those little rubber circles handy to get the top off. email me if ya don't know what I'm talking about. And if you ever find their Vodka Penne Sauce - buy it and send it to ME. I'll owe you big time - I'll FLY you to Opa....Almost forgot...most of my fav skin care stuff you can find at Walmart - best price in town...I KNOW...I have been a big TARGET/TARJAAAY fan and still am. But sorry times are tight. Money matters and my money is going were the best deal is. So hit Walmart first. The Alpha Hydrox stuff is at Ulta and don't go without your Sunday coupon. Sorry but 3.50 off is 3.50 off. Colore Science is sold in Dermatologists offices so google it. Now ya'll know why my skin looks so good and I can afford those amazing shoes!!! Some things you can "skimp" on and some things are just not up for discussion...and if you are lucky enough to live in McKinney, Tx go to Serenity Nails by Market Street ( which has a great 20 % off on all services at Serentiy Nails right on the back of your receipt) and ask for foot and hand massage ever - EVER -I mean ever LADIES.And that is not up for discussion - unless you come to Thursday nights meeting of the Bored but NEVER Boring Housewives...and that is how I'll know who has done their homework!!! Wha la!!! Keep reading and for all our sakes - we want to go to Opa's!! - sign up as a freakin follower!!!Top of the page just click on it! Love ya'll!

Monday, August 3, 2009

Back to Basics

Been awhile...been on vacation and for the last two days I've been trying to lie low and recover from vacation. Need a staycation to follow vacation....So I stayed at home today and watched Mad Men while doing the laundry. Kind of torn about that show...the men were pigs - good looking and great suits but OMG - PIGS. As for the women - the only good thing about being them is that there isn't a skinny one in the bunch...curves were in and muscle tone not important. Of course, they had on industrial strength bras, girdles, hose and slips so that would be a buzz kill. Guess that is what made all their fat look like curves...and the drinking!!! These people drank hard stuff nonstop! AT WORK and then on their two hour martini lunches and the very minute they walked in the door at home or the home of whoever they were cheatin with. I was so disturbed by watching all the alcohol consumption today that I decided not to have my own glass of wine/dinner tonight. So I had a diet coke, a fresca (almost put that in a wine glass but didn't feel like washin an extra glass), and now I'm working on a razberry green tea. I also had my new favorite food - carrot fries. Yum and no I'm not crazy they are good and good for you. Turn oven on to 400 peel several large carrots and slice them to look like fries - I know there is a fancy word for that but I'm tired and a little cranky and not so funny without my wine/dinner. So work with me here and just slice the damn carrots. "Julianne" them. Then coat them really good with olive oil (good for you) and sprinkle heavily with salt, pepper, garlic powder, lemon pepper, italian seasoning, and make a single layer on a foil covered cooking sheet. I prefer a jelly roll pan cause the little sides keep them on the pan better. Put them in hot oven close to the top - I like them really close and almost charred black. 25 minutes but watch them unless you like them black. Then roll them on paper towels - even though it's good for you, you don't need all that extra oil. Wha la...carrot fries. I was feeling so skinny after this good for me dinner and watching all those really curvy women all day on Mad Men that I decided to treat myself to a big bowl of popcorn my way. I prefer to call it Italian Popcorn. My kids call it Stinky Popcorn and run screaming from the room when I make it....fine with me. More for me. Hate other hands in my popcorn anyway. Just pop your fav brand and dump in a big bowl and cover with parmesean cheese and for this I prefer the green can stuff. No need to go all fancy and use the snobby good kind. This is popcorn people. Kraft green can sticks better. Then add salt, garlic powder and italian seasoning. I like the kind that you use with oil for dipping. Stir it all up and enjoy! Now I like popcorn all to myself and peace and quiet during my shows but you prolly should floss and brush really good afterwards. Now you'd think I'd be full by now but NOOOOO. Now I need/want/have to have something sweet. Like candy bar brownies!! Good thing I made those last night. Good friend gave me this recipe and since she is a follower of my blog I know she will be honored that I am sharing her recipe with you too. Take your fav brownie mix - any box kind will do just change the amount of oil to ONLY 3 tbsps. Same everything else on the directions. Then pour batter into your pan. Cover top of batter with one can sweetened condensed milk. Then chop up several of your favorite candy bars and spread over the top. Follow baking time on your box. I've made them with almond joys and added extra coconut, snickers, butterfingers, and kitkats. All delicious. No complaints from anyone. So just chop up your fav candy bar and wha la - Candy Bar Brownies.
Okay, now to be honest with you I'd prolly feel better if I took a minute to go stick my finger down my throat. Just kidding...I prolly gained 5 lbs. by starting out healthy with those yummy carrot fries. Should have just had my glass of wine/dinner. Might have to go on my Girly Girl liquid diet. AGAIN. Did I mention the out of this world Dairy Queen marshmellow milkshakes we fell in love with on our vacation??? Just what I needed - another way to eat marshmellows!!
Next blog I promise not to yak on and on about food. Since I am the ripe old age of almost not even freakin forty something...I'll share my fav skin care products.