Wednesday, February 23, 2011

Which Came First the Gaga or the Egg...

Now just relax all you little monsters, I am not going to trash/bash your leader - Lady Gaga...I actually like her music and her message of love one another for who we are. At least I think that is what she is saying...sometimes I just get a little distracted by all the crazy. And I'm calling her crazy with love. Bless her heart.

Last year when she burned the piano on tv I was entralled and I loved that song. Problem is - I don't really remember the song. Just the piano burning. I know I loved the song and her voice was amazing. But that burning piano really got my attention. That, I remember. And then there was the meat dress and purse. Who could forget that!! Wowzer!!No one, cause it went viral fast and the comedians - they had a blast. She can rest assured no one will ever forget that. Or the Egg entrance this year at the Grammy's - already the song is kind of a distant memory. But, that may not be all her fault. My memory is pretty selective these days. But if shock value and "fame" is what she's going for then she is living her dream. I just think it is a little sad cause her real talent is her voice. But I don't think I'm the only one that is easily distracted from that.

I was watching Wendy Williams this morning and she was interviewing the lovely Roberta Flack. Talk about an amazing voice!! Wendy got her to sing one of the most beautiful songs ever - Killing Me Softly. I couldn't believe that I remembered all the words. I couldn't help but wonder if one day in the future, say 30 plus years from now - if Lady Gaga will be on a talk show singing one of her songs from today. And if so, what will she be wearing??? I just hope she lasts and let's us focus on her voice and not all the crazy. She's got our attention now - let us enjoy the music.

Speaking of the Grammy's, I was shocked in a good way when the girl that most of us had never heard of won Best New cool was that!! Isn't that kind of the purpose of "New" ? I love Gaga and I've got Bieber Fever too but at this point I don't think of them as new. They are everywhere. I am so glad the Grammy's recognizied someone we need to know more about. Someone without all the crazy - just an amazing talent. I bet she'll be around in 30 years.

Thursday, February 17, 2011

Stupid Cupid

Now that you are confused and I have your attention....of course, I don't think Cupid is Stupid. I want (and expect) my flowers, candy, cards and sparklies just like YOU do...some years are better than others...LOVED this year. If you are one of my two offspring now would be a really good time for you to go look at porn or something else on the internet. This will totally gross you out. (Of course, now they are glued but they have been warned...)

Times are tight for all of us. Sad to say and trust me - I don't say it often but Hubs is off the hook - thru the years he has wowed me and spoiled me and it pains me to say it but - I really do have it all. Okay, like maybe ONE of each. There is only so much joolree (jewelry for those that are new to blog - like to mispell to give it humor) a girl can wear, EVEN in Texas without looking crazy. Don't worry - Gypsy is still my middle name but he has covered that department and I love him up for it. He has also rocked my world in the shoe and handbag department. Thanks to my devotion to Sex and City - the show uncut on tv please! - he (bless his little man heart) went on Ebay years ago and bought me a fantastic pair of Manolos...yes, they are real. He was thrilled to realize that shoes and handbags are crazy expensive but still less than the sparklie things. Thanks to a really good job in the 90's he pretty much covered the joolry. Fastforward to moving to Dallas and my first Louis. My first Louis baby was an anniversary gift while we were in New York. Smart man had it shipped home to avoid tax. Hope that was legal - whoops. Second one got him out of a major birthday jam when he had no idea what to get me. Love them both. Third one was our oops baby. Adopted over the internet from China and unintentionally prolly not real. Freakin cute and really good deal and hardly ever leaves the house cause we are not down with fake crap.

I know I said one of each - but Hubs totally gets you can rock clothes from Target and Kohls as long as you don't skimp on the shoes and handbags. So, I have a few really awesome bags. And only one pair of the most coveted red sole shoes in the world. Best day ever - hubs says cancel your girlfriend plans. I'm taking you shopping for a pair of red soled shoes and then lunch at the Mansion on Turtle Creek. It was a close call, but hells yes! I blew off my girlfriends so fast you could see the smoke. It was our 20 something anniversary, so I played that card and they still love me. Crazy bitches - think I am actually going to let them borrow my shoes.

So at this point in our life - Christmas, Valentines, Anniversary and birthdays roll around and I'm like whatever. Got all I need. Just don't forget it totally and as long as I can buy books and mags I'm a happy girl. This is where the offspring really do need to go do something else - WARNING!!! YOUR PARENTS STILL HAVE SEX. NOT AS MUCH BUT STILL....MORE THAN TWICE. Feb. 14th rolls around again. I make the promise of not this morning but you hurry home and I'm going to rock your world. (Hey, sometimes they fall for it...feed them big dinner w/ wine and it's not your fault if they fall asleep)I've already got a great card (even though he thinks they are a huge waste of money) and stuff for boy offspring. Baby girl got a great giftbag of all her fav things this weekend when we were lucky enough to be see her while boy offspring had a lacrosse tournament where she is in college. How cool is that?? As we are leaving after fantastic weekend with her and lacrosse the Hubs makes the super cool Dad move and gives her the most BEAUTIFUL dozen roses you have ever seen...yippee for her and she is thrilled.

Vday rolls around. Boy offspring totally blows off and ignores all the darling girls that text him like crazy. I make the big promise to the hubs that big things are going to happen when he gets home and future lax star is at practice. Fast forward to end of day...I've gone to store and have all that is needed for fantastic steak dinner. After 4 major snow storms and no grill action we are thrilled to grill at home. Hubs calls to ask if I need anything from store...answer is no got it all and hurry home ;;;))) He comes on in .... a hurry to change and go for a run. As he is changing and we are catching up on the day - I realize he is empty handed and he realizes that it is Vday and while I didn't need dinner from store he was SUPPOSED to stop and pick up MY flowers....not only am I not getting crazy no kids home sex - I AM NOT EVEN GETTING FLOWERS. On Valentine's Day. No flowers. No card. No candy. Cupid IS stupid.

But, he was fast on his feet(going running afterall) straight to the grocery store!!! Made it home with the most amazingly beautiful dozen roses you have ever seen...and he even tried to listen when I said no candy...six chocolate covered strawberries instead. They were awesome!!

Dinner was fantastic. Flowers were beautiful. Boy offspring survived lax practice and wrath of cute girls. Girlfriend enjoyed first Vday without boyfriend in four years. And as for us, well I'll just close with My Cupid is not Stupid.

Tuesday, February 1, 2011

I Phone is the New Crack

This is a health alert....If you currently own an iphone - my personal drug of choice - or any of the other smart phones I'm betting you didn't read the tiny fine print either. If you had to stand in line for hours to even get yours you weren't worried about any of the warnings buried in the instruction manual. I barely bothered reading that. I just watch the commercials and download any cool apps advertised there. Or hand it over to my teens and they hook me right up. Here is what they don't tell you.

1. You will find that you cannot be more than 5 ft. from your phone at anytime. Makes getting a shower tricky but I manage. Just barely. If you find yourself in one room and the crack device in another you have 25 seconds to retrieve it before your head explodes.

2. First sign you have a phoneaddiction - you no longer use your computer. Because you can check your emails 4,658 times a day FROM YOUR PHONE. And you will, you just won't answer any of them. This will drive your friends crazy. You will mean to do it when you get home but you won't. Because you will be too busy with the next part of this dreaded addiction.

3. Second sign - texting. You only have a contact list in order to text people. The art of an actual conversation is a joke. I predict mankind will forget how to speak in the next 10 yrs. we will just stand around with our phones texting each other face to face. Don't worry rap will never go away.

4. Third sign - Facebook - now some of you think FB is the devil's book. All two of you are so smug that YOU have never done it. Come on - who are you kidding??? Even Bill Clinton has facebooked. Facebook is the gateway to more phoneaddictions. And once you own an iphone - you have truly descended into hell. You won't care about eating, your kids, feeding your kids, reading or even watching a movie. You won't even be able to watch tv without checking your fb...and then you will have this uncontrollable urge to text someone. WHILE you are supposed to be watching your favorite show. It is so dangerously addicting they even warn you that texting is not allowed during movies!!

5. Fourth sign you are going to end up homeless and on the street living in a box - Words with Friends...Yea! Some friends - these shady characters just want to get you addicted to feed their own nasty little habit....they suck you in with smiles and promises that it is fun and will increase your vocabulary - not so!!! You won't even know what half these words mean!! You won't care as long as you get the points and crush your former friends with a big word!!! Trust me just SAY NO!!!

6. Fifth sign - That know the one. The glass, the bell, the horn or whatever cute little sound you set your phone to make everytime you have a new message, text, or game move waiting. You won't eat, sleep or will jump for your phone, trade your children, You will even play your children and try to crush them to get your phonefix....

7. Sixth sign - Angry Birds...this is the mac daddy drug of all - I am currently in phonerehab and am fighting the urge to try this one. But, I keep reading and hearing about how great it is. How much fun I'll have doing it. I am trying to be strong. Plus, I hear there is a possible tv show in the works. I will wait for that.

8. Dressing your phone. I am guilty of bling stickers on mine. Shoot me.

9. If you are still reading this you know you have a problem or know someone who has a should text them and tell them to read this. There are prolly more signs we are all hopelessly addicted but I need to stop now cause my phone is calling - did I mention I fell off the recovery wagon today and actually am now a Twit???

10. Twitter - I was holding out and refusing to try this Twitter drug but I saw Regis do it this morning and he looked like he was having so much fun. Everybody is doing it. I'm not going to do it everyday. I can control it. Really. Oh, who am I kidding!! Follow me @girlygirlrocks - hope I did that right. Seriously, be careful and whatever you do whenever you do it - NEVER FEED YOUR PHONEADDICTION WHILE DRIVING...and it is RUDE to do it at the table in front of friends (unless you are texting them - still prolly rude). And never ever text in a dark room - you will be looking down into the light of your phone and trust me it will age you by at least 20 yrs. Especially if you are squinting and frowning at your phone. Not a good look. Don't do this.