Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Why My Boytoy thinks I Have a Boyfriend

As we all know the boyfriend trend is very in right now. I even mentioned it two blogs ago. Love my new bf blazer and jeans. Finally discovered the secret to the jeans - roll them up don't fold them up. Thank you J.Crew Catalog...I have also added a large face black watch which could be called a bf watch. And I couldn't help but notice a really cute black and grey sweater in the men's dept. at Old Navy when I was looking for some sweaters for Gman. I remembered back in my college days after I snapped out of my freshman year preppy mode (thank god!), I loved wearing long sweaters from the men's side of the store with jeans and boots (or clogs). For some unknown reason cashmere sweaters are always less in the men's department. Just like their dry cleaning bill....

Anyway, I noticed in this months onslaught of magazines piling up by my bed that this sweater look is in and that is fine with me. As we all know, anything that hides the whole middle area is a good thing. For some of us anyway. For those with flat tummies and tiny waists - just wait. You too will grow up one day. In the mean time, just put a thin belt on with it. Show off. Also in the mags are some shoes that are leaning a little to the men's look. This is where I draw the line. I am good with the blazer, jeans, sweater, watch and even hats. If you can rock the fedora go for it. But when it comes to shoes??? Hells,NO! This is the time for heels - that is what reminds them that there IS a girl under all the boyfriend stuff!!!

I also saved/snatched two flannel shirts from Wonderman's donation pile to a men's shelter for me to sleep in. Felt a little guilty about the men that probably needed them more than me, so I just added two more. Don't tell Wonderman. He is already eyeing all this stuff on my side of the closet that does not look very girly - until I wear it with the sky high heels. Usually, when he asks if something is new - which is man speak for "Oh, my God - how much did that cost???" I answer, "No, honey, I've had this for awhile" which is woman speak for "Drop it buster, if you want sex tonight". Well, you see the problem here...why would I have all these new items of clothes that obviously came from the men's department???? I'm working on that. Funny thing number two - Baby Girl and I have always shared if something fit both of us...whoever would have thought I'd be eyeing Gman's closet for things to share!!! I am sure Gman won't mind sharing sweaters with his mama...and that is what I can tell Wonderman!!!" What, this old thing? It's Griffin's and I don't know why it is in my closet. Now, let me show you my boyshorts underwear...."

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

Rained Out

Thank God the sun came out again ...we have had about 3 weeks of rain. No, I did not move to a tropical rainforest but it was starting to feel like it. You'd think with all this time stuck inside I'd be blogging away...not so. Found out without my daily sunshine, I kinda lost my funny. By day four, I was clinical and needed a shower and fresh pj's. See, the first rainy day is always FABULOUS!! I ditch all my out of the house plans and stay in my jammies all day and do absolutely as little as possible that is not just fun. Which usually involves comfy clothes and a good book. This continues on to day two. By day three, I am starting to feel a twinge of guilt about all the junk food and lack of exercise. Day four and not only are the jammies feeling snug but I am too antsy to really enjoy my book and I'm all caught up on my taped shows. House is a wreck and it's not the week the house fairies are coming to clean. The lack of sun, fresh air and vitamin D is sucking all the funny out of me and I'm not in the mood to blog. Even my emails are boring.

Day Four becomes the day I finally snap out of it, hit the treadmill, shower, play Hazel and throw in some laundry. Now I am a big fan of clean clothes. I am not a big fan of folding and putting away clean clothes. When I run out of baskets to put the clean clothes in I finally drag them to the living room and pray there is something on tv to entertain me while I try to match all 289 pairs of Wonderman's black and navy patterned dress socks. And let me just tell you Oprah had better up her game cause there is a new fab Sista on daytime tv and her show is FUN!!! Wendy Williams is my new BFF "in my head" - her line....and she is rocking the wigs, hot shoes, accessories and she is all about telling it like it is. She dishes on hot topics and gives advice to audience members. Never a dull moment. Now, she is really into wigs and hers change every day. She had a male guest the other day from Melrose on and they are having a big ole time on the couch when she mentions her fab wig and he admits he is wearing "a piece" too!! I KNEW IT!!! See, on laundry day my usual tv game is turn on a soap like Young and the Restless - which I was addicted to in the 90's. Turn off the sound - I swear some of the story lines are still the same - and just look at all these people that are still on there after all these years!!!Oh, my!! If they haven't ruined their faces with too much surgery, they NEED to! And then there are the ONES THAT NEVER AGE...proof that vampires really do exist and they work on daytime tv. But for me, the most fun lately has been trying to figure out what the hell is on top off all the guys heads!!! Some of them look like Chia Pets...and some just have an unlikely head of hair for their age. Remember, they have been on these shows for the last thirty years. So this Melrose dude from the original show - admits to Wendy that yes, he is wearing a weave for men! She of course tries to touch it - but he was all "No touching the HAIR". Now, I am so distracted by trying to guess who's hair is real I can't even focus on my nighttime shows. I am almost positive Rob Lowe was wearing one on Brothers and Sisters this week. He is still smokin hot, but something was a little off with his do this week. By the end of the show, it had improved. If you still have it taped, go check it out.
I bet it is just a matter of time before Jessica Simpson jumps on the hair extensions for men!

So, the next time you are home and bored - check out Wendy William's show, turn on a soap and play "I Spy Fake Hair Guy", or read a good book. I was up til 3:00 AM trying to finish Destined for an Early Grave - book 4 in a series by Jeaniene Frost, great Vampire series. Got her done today, and started The Help by Kathryn Stockett for bookclub. Would love to know what Wendy thinks about this book. It really makes you realize how much has changed for black women in my lifetime. Keep rockin Daytime TV Wendy!!! And if you are a laundry basket queen like me you have got to get the Downy Wrinkle Releaser Spray!!! Just spray the wrinkled clothes and throw them back in the dryer with a clean, wet washcloth and dry for about 20 minutes. Now don't forget them - Go Hang Them Up!!!

Saturday, October 10, 2009

The Boyfriend Craze

Unless you have been hiding under a rock or totally given up on staying current on all the trends in clothing, you know that you must have a boyfriend now. And he needs to be the right size so that you can steal/borrow his jeans and blazer. I know!! Who thinks up these styles??? Personally, I never ever wanted a boyfriend that was my size...I always preferred boyfriends that were bigger than me cause then no matter what - I got to feel dainty and girly. If his thighs or butt were smaller than mine, well, THAT was a definite deal breaker. Cause yes, my friends THAT does make your ASS look BIGGER!!! Cause it is!!!Which is probably why I ended up married for the last 21 years to a Wonderful Man (Wonderman), who just happens to be 6'7. Which is perfect for always making me feel small and dainty even if I'm wearing 5" heels. Okay, 4" is my limit but I could if I wanted too. So as far as shoe shopping goes the sky really is my limit.

Back to the boyfriend trend. You see my problem here???First of all, Wonderman would not be too understanding if I went out and got a boyfriend my size. And his jeans and blazers are out of the question. Hobo is not the look we are going for here. So then I tried my son's closet. Yes, that felt a little creepy due to the whole "boyfriend" part. But, hey - he has a practically unused blazer from NORDSTROMS that he got for his seventh grade cotillion class...perfect. Except it would fit me better if he'd gotten it in the eighth grade when his shoulders were a little bit wider. Dang! If I wore it with nothing on underneath it just might fit, but then we'd have another problem. Well, two actually. Crap - was really hoping that would fit me. Then I saw his jeans - Bingo!! Okay, I am not telling his size but in my head and a perfect world these should fit me too. And I did get them on. Just barely.

Let me just say, lycra is truly a miracle fiber and all us girls have gotten so used to it being in just about everything we wear that it is truly a shock when we slip/stuff ourselves into anything/especially jeans that do not have it. That last little inch/or 3 more between the button hole and the freakin button - well, there is no give at all. That sucker is not going to slip into that hole easily. No wonder guys are always messing around down there!! Some genius fashion designer needs to make men a pair of jeans with a little touch(naughty monkey!) of lycra down there...then when stuff happens...instead of all that grabbing (and by the way, YES - we can't help but notice when you get all busy down there!!) the magic jeans would just give a little and no one would have to know. Like when we have on our best jeans and we eat a little too much and those jeans just take care of that little extra food baby for us.

So hubby's closet and Gman's closet are not showing me the love - time to take this fashion hunt to the store. Now, being stubborn and fixated on this whole boy part of the trend that is where I headed - the boys department. I want a REAL boyfriend blazer and jeans - minus the real boyfriend. Plus, I know for a fact just like shopping in the junior department the boys's stuff is cheaper. And since this is a trend let's try that first. It was a good idea but again the lack of lycra was a problem. That and all the funny looks I got when I tried on a blazer. Even I was smart enough not to try on jeans there. So back to the girls department. Hello Pretties!!!

Save time - hit the girlfriend side of the store!! Lots of lycra and cute little blazers that are slightly fitted at the waist so no more hobo looks. And the jeans are just right too! While baggy and comfy they still manage to make your butt look smaller! Pocket size and placement along with a touch of lycra works wonders. So now I am the proud owner of a cute little perfect size for me boyfriend blazer and just the right amount of baggy without making my butt look bigger pair of boyfriend jeans. Without all the drama of a real live boyfriend. And best of all it's Saturday! Time to try it all on with some rockin heels - grab my boytoy hubby and call it a date night...we are going to see Couples Retreat with some friends - will let ya know how this latest trend works out!

Sunday, October 4, 2009

The Best Ever Weekend

Well, it's over but it was fantastic. Right now it's late and I'm trying to stay awake til I get THE phone call. Baby girl is back at school and all is cool. We just had the best ever first weekend home from college. I know over the next four (hopefully) years we will get used to this but since it was her first time home since she left six weeks ago for A & M it was a big one.

We'd heard all the horror stories of how they come back changed. Out of control. Disrespectful. Out all night. We were ready. And thankful - the girl we kissed good bye came home even better. She'd grown up but not away. She was sooo happy to be home. She kissed her boyfriend goodbye (they are at school together) and she was ours for the entire weekend. She gladly went to her brother's lacrosse game that lasted almost two hours and never complained. She insisted on helping in the kitchen even when I told her not to worry go work on your homework. Which she did after she stayed and helped. She did her own laundry that she brought home just like she had been doing at home since 7th grade. She took her brother to a movie on Sunday for some alone time together and she even woke up early so she could enjoy breakfast with us.

Yes, the weekend was all about her and we tried to do all her favorite things and cook all her favorite meals. But she really appreciated it all so much that it didn't even feel like we were spoiling her. Cause she is not spoiled. She is just an amazing young girl that makes us proud. We had a great weekend. We will all miss her so much these next few weeks until we go see her or she comes home. Again. We will be here waiting girl is flying!