Friday, May 21, 2010

Best Dream Ever!!!

Sometimes my best sleep happens after the alarm clock goes know, when someone else needs to get up and you don't. That alone is awesome but just getting to lay there an extra hour is pure heaven. Having a really fantastic dream too is just better than birthday cake. That happened to me this week. Now I know you are all just dying to know what and who I dreamed about. This will also be a test to see if Wonderman is reading my blog. I've been feeling a little ignored here lately. Pretty sure he is not keeping up.

Back to dream world. As usual George was there. I am convinced he is refusing to get married because I am already taken and he is just waiting patiently for that to change. Being the gentleman that he is and the lady I am we are just not available for each other at this time. Wonderman is breathing a sigh of relief (IF HE IS READING HIS WIFE'S BLOG!!!) I am sure George is reading - this is my dream world story back to my dream. Well, George is being all Clooney on me and that is fab but here is the BEST part of my dream. As if GC isn't enough!!! I am a much younger and better version of myself too!! WHA HOOO!! We all know he likes his girlfriends slightly younger but still classy. AND in my dream I am rocking a smoking body in the wonderful age zone of nothing saggin or baggin!!! My hair is super long and full and fab!! I don't even need bangs (my version of botox - call mine bangtox) cause my forehead is still smooth...I am so excited about this all that poor George is feeling ignored. I swear - I can't stop looking at myself long enough to even think about him!! Now, that things have started to change in reality I can really appreciate the chance to enjoy a smoking hot body in my dream world. So I am not ashamed to admit that I was just not that into him right then...I was having way more fun in my dream world closet trying on all that cute stuff that I am too old to be wearing now in reality world. Needless, to say George was feeling a wee bit ignored and being the movie star that he is this is not a normal feeling for him. That was when the doorbell rang and guess who came strollin in??? Those two cute vampire brothers from my favorite TV show. This is also when the alarm clock went off again and POOF there went my smoking hot 30something body ...back to reality. You know you are really getting older when you are more excited about dreaming you are younger than dreaming about George...

Wednesday, May 12, 2010

I Don't Get It...

Okay, I know this sounds too easy...but seriously. I just blogged about what I know for sure so here are a few things well...I'm sorry - I just don't GET.

1. Jay Z. I do get he is successful. I do get he is married to Beyonce and we LOVE her. Therefore, we must love him. And I could - if he just wouldn't pick up a microphone and "sing/rap" live on SNL. Sorry, but I thought it was a skit about how bad rappers can be. Guess it wasn't. A SKIT - but it was SH*&. Sorry. Shoot me. Okay, didn't mean that literally MR. Z. Stick to "bidness deals" and leave the microphone to Miss B. All I'm saying. And, for the record I happen to love rap. Most of it anyway. As much as I can listen to without Gman in the car cause he just freaks if he hears his MOM singing along. And yes, I know the words and what most of them mean. Sorry but I like the beat and it is fun to dance to. As long as Mr. Z. isn't doing it live on SNL.

2. Larry King. Where do I even start? How about there is not enough money EVER that he or anyone could give me to even think about lying in a bed with no clothes on with THAT man. Much less having sex with him...seriously. And her sister too??? Whatev. I think both of them are mental. And he is just a really OLD man with a lot of money. Just not enough for me. EVER. Sad, but I could have at least respected them a little if the whole he slept with my sister thing had not happened. I mean the hot, cute, coach??? Come on!! Like that was a surprise?? Hello??? Larry King???? What are these people thinking???

3. Getting old...speaking of Mr. King - what are the odds that MOST men lose their hair at a certain age? And what are the odds that certain men never do??? LIKE men that sing rock and roll for a living? I'm sorry - I LOVE Bon Jovi and I've seen them live at least 2 or 3 times and I'd see them again in a heart beat. But, as I was watching them tonight on American Idol I couldn't help but stare in amazement at their hair. How lucky are they to still be performing and rockin and living the life and still have ALL that FREAKIN hair? I know it is "shorter" but, come on!!! Really??? I'm pretty sure the hairy guys on our soaps and tv shows are rockin some good fake hair and I just bet our rockers are the way, I thought Daughtry was smokin hot with his bald head.

4. Before I watched this really funny video my sister in law sent me today I didn't really understand/get how men and women think differently. I don't mean think about issues I mean actually THINK differently - as in their brain works in different ways. And I'm even talking about the brain in the men's head that sits on their shoulders. We ALL get how the other one thinks differently (see Mr. King and the sister in #2.) Check out Mark Gunger on youtube - if that doesn't work try Mark Gunger Men's Brain Women's Brain Extended ...and if you've never tried Youtube...I DON'T GET THAT EITHER!!! GET WITH THE PROGRAM AND GET A LIFE ON FACEBOOK TOO WHILE YOU ARE AT IT!! Back to this hilarious video - men think in little boxes and their favorite box in their head is the nothing box. You see where this is going? Go check out the video!!

5. Last but not least - I don't get Twitter. I mean I know what it is in theory. Everybody blabs whatever is on their brain 24/7. For everyone to read. Like we care. Here's the part I don't get. Obviously, EVERYONE but me does care...and reads it all and twitters. I don't even really understand or know how or where you twit. Do you do it/twit on your computer or on your phone? And if phone do you need an app for it or a special phone? Sad. I know. But hey, I at least do FB and I BLOG so there.

6. I'm sure there is a lot more I don't get. I just don't remember it all right now. That is a wonderful thing about getting older and like most of us losing our hair and our memory. You can't miss what you don't just get older/just don't get it.

Sunday, May 2, 2010

May Day May Day ALERT!!!

MAY DAY!!! Crap it is already May 2nd!!!! Only 15 days until I have to come up with something WONDERFUL for WONDERMAN'S birthday....WHY is it so hard to buy presents for guys??? Girls are so easy. JEWELRY, perfume, handbags, red soled shoes, you name it - we like it. But guys like cars. Cars cost lots of money and frankly, I just hate dealing with car salesmen. Even if I had gobs of money I'd hate going to buy a car. Guess I could do it online. But, since I don't have gobs of money I won't be buying a car so why am I still talking about it??? Cause, I am stalling and have no freakin clue (as usual) what I'm giving Wonderman for his birthday. He really liked the Victoria's Secret stuff I got him last year - heh heh...but it would be really lame and selfish on my part to do that again. Prolly, did it at Christmas too. Can't help it - shoot me for liking pretty underwear stuff. He wasn't complaining - trust me. And just to be clear here - HE was not the one wearing it either!!! So anyway, got to come up with something to wrap up for him.

His birthday also means that for the next two months we are the same age. He cannot call me his OLD WOMAN and I can't call him my boytoy....which also means that MY birthday is almost here and then I really will be an OLD WOMAN with her BOYTOY!!! Which reminds me it is time to start my Girly Girl Liquid will just have to check out one of my very first blogs on this site if you too want to lose a few pounds a really fun way. I always say it is okay to get a little bit older as long as I'm not getting a little bit fatter. I can do old but FAT makes me crazy....I pretend to embrace this whole "Love my junk in my trunk" mentality but the reality is FAT freaks me out. Now I'm not a big fan of tooo skinny either but wouldn't hurt most of us to lose about 5lbs. And right now - I'd be okay losing about 9.5lbs. - sounds better than 10. This is very hard to do with birthday season being upon us too....Wonderman is all about his birthday cake. He loves to request some really fancy made from scratch cake. His favorite is good ole fashion pound cake. Sounds simple but do not get me started on it. First of all, if it is made in a bundt pan THAT IS NOT FREAKIN POUND CAKE!!! Nothing wrong with Bundt cake - love it better than pound cake myself but it is his cake we are planning not mine. He likes the real southern kind like my neighbor B. Rush makes. HERS is soooo good. I would be soooo lucky if she had a burning desire to just whip up one of hers and if she would also drop it off sometime on or very near the 17th....Wow!! That would be awesome. Now, I asked and she gave me her recipe one year so I could make sure he got his favorite cake. But, frankly it is a pain to make it and mine truly did not taste as good as hers did. And if I'm going to all that trouble to make a cake from scratch it better have some CHOCOLATE in it by God!! HONESTLY - what is he thinking??? Boring. I'm thinking an ice cream cake sounds good. Ben & Jerry make yummy ones too. Crap now I'm thinking about cake and ice cream and I NEED to lose a few lbs. before July rolls around. Hard to lose lbs when SOMEONE wants a lb. cake!!! So now I've got two things to worry about for the next 15 days....on top of trying to lose some junk that is migrating from my trunk to my waist...or I could just go read another book!! Just finished Harlan Coben's newest - Caught - really liked it. Got more to read than time to read them in right now too! Also, don't miss the latest in the series that started True Blood - Charlaine Harris's Sookie Stackhouse books. If you haven't read them DO!!! I really love using Amazon Books to get the order right in series. Makes me CRAZY to read things out of order. And fyi...just noticed that if you are a Barnes & Noble member they have FREE shipping now on all books. Kind hard to beat that!!I really like the free app for my phone too that let's me buy and READ books right on my phone. So I'm off to read, shop and bake....