Top this Martha Stewart!!!

Here is my big tip for happiness in the kitchen....heavy cream. If the recipe calls for milk of any kind....just use the same amount of heavy cream. Fail proof best ever thing you will ever make. Mashed potatoes...OMG!!! Oreida frozen mashed potatoes (I KNOW) micro them according to directions and then just pile on butter, sour cream, HEAVY CREAM, salt & garlic powder and mash!!! YUM. SHUT UP. So GOOD!!! Just micro for another minute with all the good stuff and mash again and stick a spoon in it an watch out!!Feeding Frenzy....Will it make you fat? Hells. Yes. Will you care?? Hells. No. (If you feel the need to peel and slice your own potatoes - go right ahead - no worries. But, trust me, NO one will be able to tell the difference).

Now, after fat and happy on the above you will need to sit back and relax. With????My favorite best ever you have to go get one too - BLANKET. I found mine at Dillards in the shoe department with all their new Ugg boots. BECAUSE this blanket is like wrapping yourself up in a comfy pair of Ugg boots. But it is a blanket. And mine will go with me in my casket one day. Just me, my slippers and this blanket. Best part is it does not cost a freakin fortune cause it is not made by UGGS!! YES, you are loving me now!! It is made by Ponderosa - go figure - and it only costs $49.00!!!! Score...you will love it.

So, happy tummy, warm and fuzzy blanket, you supply the rest...what is your favorite book, tv show, movie on demand or thing to do in a blanket....?

Read the Fine Print

Okay, I am still missing my black background for the record. Wonderman is happier cause he says he can read this easier now on his crackberry driving down the road on the way to his tennis match that he is 35 minutes late for...I KNOW not a good idea. If you only read this once a week you are screwed and lost and don't know what hell I'm talking about and that is your own freakin fault. Yesterday there were all these hilarious ads for vibrators attached to my site and now it all PG mascara ads!!! THEY really are reading and watching and it is starting to OOOK me out!!! I honestly think my phones might be tapped. AND I prolly should have actually read all the little printed words on the ad sense page before I clicked yes you can have my firstborn child if I violate any policies and rules. MY BAD - honey, I know you love your new life at A & M but now you have to go with the creepy,scary people in black that just tore down your door. Mommy loves you and I'll read the fine print next time!!! Promise....

I know I acted all OMG and all but secretly I thought those ads were kinda cool. Like tattos. As long as someone else has one - I'm cool with that....kinda like it. Scared to have/get one but hey, I'll look at yours. It's the whole good girl thing. I've walked a fine line but pretty much managed to not cross it too many times in 48 yrs. Lot to be said about that. And a whole lot more I prolly got away with cause I aint no dummy and it always helps to play the I LOOK LIKE A GOOD GIRL card. We all know Bad Girls have more fun - hells yes they do - but they also have to put up with all the gossip and stares and crap that would just totally freak me out. So, I'm just a bad girl in my head. With a boat load of chicken shit mixed in holding me back from my inner total bad girl...I'm the good girl that coulda woulda shoulda been a bad girl. And still managed to have a whole lot of fun without all the drama.

Anywhooo...back to fine print and ads!!! Not sure if I'm allowed to talk about this and I will go back and read the fine print on the whole ads thing but I'm really tempted to write about stuff just to see what kind of ads it would generate...this is so not like MAD MEN....that really sucks too. Cause okay, this is bad bad bad girl talking but come on!! Who wouldn't like a little one on one bizzznus meeting with Don Draper????(Poor Wonderman prolly just spun off the road right now!! Hunney - I done toll you to stop driving and crackin your berry!!!) I am sure Don would be able to advise me on the best ads for my writing style and content. And if not who really cares - as long as you get a little one on one with Mr. Draper. Have you even watched MAD MEN??? Do you know what I'm talking about...I mean not me but my evil bad girl twin sister that has a major crush on John Hamm/Don Draper....well, then stop reading me right now for jes a minute and go download MAD MEN...It's all about advertising in the 60's and even more about being baaaad. So ya'll go catch up on MM and I'll go read the freakin fine print...I'm coming Baby Girl - Mama loves you!And you too Wonderman!!!

I Hear You I Hear You

Sniff, sniff...sorry I'm just missing my black background with white letters. I know it was harder to read that way but it was prettier. Sometimes we have to sacrifice for beauty. Like when I wear my sky high shoes out to dinner. Hells yes - I'd be more comfy in my uggs,crocs or fit flops but just not as pretty. I like pretty. I wish I knew how to make my background on this blog pretty - especially since I gave up my black and white zebra look...that is what I want - a zebra print border around all the words. Would somebody get back to me on that?

Now some of you know and for those that don't - now is your chance...not only am I spending all my free time here I found another world for blogaholics and I'm having a blast there too. I told you I'd share some of these really funny and amazing blogs so here ya go. Just don't forget who brought ya to the freaking dance. That would be ME. So keep reading me. And for those dear dear friends that still haven't even gotten around to reading ME yet, don't you even think about it! I catch you dancing with these funny ladies you are in HUGE trouble.

All you have to do is go to girlygirl.pnn.com and that is my blog. Read them and underneath you should see the comments made by all my new funny friends. If you click on their icon(name) it should take you to their page and you can read their funny stuff. I hear you - I hear you....you have a very busy life and all that. And I also know you spend a lot of your time sitting on your fanny in your car driving your kids around and waiting for your kids, watching your kids play sports or practice, blah, blah, blah. This is a chance for you to also have some YOU time and read some really funny stuff. Laughter is good for the soul. Just don't read these and drive! And for God's sake STOP all that texting and driving!!!

So look for the following:Any that I am following - here are a few
procomicdiva.pnn.com - don't miss the one about Johnny Depp in her basement!!
askthebloggess.pnn.com
hannahbanana.pnn.com

Also check out:
suburbanturmoil.blogspot.com
cheekylotus.blogspot.com
dadgonemad.blogspot.com
missdoxie.blogspot.com

Trust me - you will laugh, laugh, laugh!!!Enjoy and thanks again for all your support and encouragement - love you and your comments!

OMG

OMG - I am dying right now!!! Just signed up today for the google ad sense ...and I'm pretty sure all my ads are for VIBRATORS!!! DYING. AND I can't click on them to confirm cause that is not allowed. ADs are based on the content of my posts so I guess because of my mascara crap I am now naughty girl vibrator queen of the ad world. Dang. If that is true then I think I just may have to GET one. Ya THINK? If I am gonna be an ad hussy might as well KNOW what I'm bloggin about. Wonderman is gonna never let me live this down...Hope the kids don't finally read mamma's little fun day time job....or God for bid my MOMS!!! JAYSUS Who's idea was this anyway.....It was about eyelashes people!! Can't you read....and they weren't even all that happy....I just hope someone finally invites me to one of those fun naughty parties for girls only where ya buy all that crap....:)

The Rabbit Hole

It's official...I am an addict. I have a problem and I prolly need some help. I'm a blogaholic. It is the rain's fault. It's been raining here for days and I've been planted in front of my computer and while I was trolling around the other day I fell thru this rabbit hole into the World of Blogland. Call me Alice in Blogland. WHO KNEW!!! I am not the one and only blogger out there...people have been doing this for YEARS! Crap - I thought it was just me and that Julie chick that likes to cook and got lucky and famous. Turns out we are not alone. Which kind of sucks cause that means WE are prolly not going to Opa anytime soon unless we purchase tickets and fly ourselves up there. Not a totally bad idea. Guess I can stop waiting for that phone call too. Whatever. Back to the rabbit hole - I discovered this whole other place called pnn.com where lots of really amazing people have been writing forever. So in addition to this fun little daytime gig of mine I decided to add on there too. I'll still yak here about all the Good Stuff and over there I'll just yak about whatever the hell I feel like!! The Good, The Bad and the FUGLY... sounds like fun to me! So check me out at girlygirl.pnn.com when ya get a chance. I will pass on the names of some of my favorite new blogs soon - it's the rabbit hole thing - not sure how you get there.

Got something else really exciting to report due to the rain - I told ya'll about the Moroccanoil hair stuff but what I didn't know then is that EVEN after being rained on my hair is still straight!!! OMG DO YOU KNOW WHAT THIS MEANS??? There is a possibility that I can go to the beach and have normal hair!!! I am serious...this is BEYOND huge for me. My favorite episode of Friends of all time is the one where they all go to the beach and as soon as Monica steps off the plane her hair starts expanding...funny when it is her not so much when it is me. I sooo felt her pain. Always thought a beach wedding would be so wonderful until I grew up and realized that is not the look I'd be going for in my bridal pictures. Talk about Bridezilla. Wonderman would have run screaming down the beach when faced with a lifetime of that hair. See I was smart. I waited until the HONEYMOON until I let him see me with beach hair. Ha! Too late sucker you done bought this cow and her crazy beach hair!!Then a couple of years ago my family moved to freakin FLORIDA - hello??? Guess you know what that means? I don't go home very much. Now they know why...but wait - if this miracle oil(better name than Moroccanoil) works in the rain AND at the beach then YES, I can go home again!!! Right now I need to get out of the rabbit hole and off my fanny and pretend to do some housework or let the dogs out - wow it's almost lunch time!! WTH did the morning go??? Help me...will you be my sponsor...

The All Nighter

Okay - let's get straight to the good stuff....what is the latest & greatest stuff I love and I hope you will too???Two new hair products - one to condition and improve shine and the other one is to freshen up your dirty hair. No brainer let's start with the one that makes no sense...wth would you WANT dirty hair? And if you do, why would you spend money on a product to make dirty hair fresh? Here's a thought why not JUST wash it??? Wha la. Clean hair. Well, for those of you not in the know...dirty hair is easier to style than slippery ole clean hair. You can tease dirty hair and get more volume. And then there is the laziness factor which is where I have this whole idea down pat - again waaay ahead of my time. See it is just a big ole pain in the ass/arm to wash and blow out my hair ALL the time. And without the effort of blowing out mine is one big mass of half curly mostly frizzy chaos. I'll pretend to like it this way but really I'm just too tired/lazy to spend the time needed to blow it out. And forget just aiming a blow dryer at it drying it...TRULY horrific. To blow it out involves a supersizied round brush in one hand and dryer in the other and both arms are about to fall off by the time each section has been brushed and blown for about 30 minutes. So back to me and dirty hair. Here is my secret - nothing makes me nuts more than going thru the hell of blowing out my hair to just have to go and stick a hat on it the next day to play tennis. So my wash/blow dry schedule revolves around two things: tennis and social life. When both are hopping this gets tricky. Just tennis for a few days is a no brainer. That's what hats are for. There ya go another favorite thing - cute hats. So just tennis for a few days = shower only no shampoo hair. Tennis and social = what can I do to make my naturally dirty hair look better without the trouble of blow out??? Here we goooo - THE ALL NIGHTER Styling Powder. You see real dirty hair is really gross. Greasy and oily is never a good look. The purpose of this product is not to really give you dirty hair but to fluff, freshen, preserve your blowout and build body, texture and volume. Just shake a little bit of All Nighter in and it fluffs your hair up and even makes it smell better. And you can twist it up and it will almost stay there by itself. Seriously, this is good stuff. I saw it advertisied on the Mike and Juliet Show - they had on several people trying to sell their products and then a panel of "experts" would either say the products worked or (ouch) they didn't. Talk about AWKWARD...but they all loved this stuff - the hair people raved about it. So you know me and my naturally dirty hair - well, I NEEDED this stuff. And I've tried the dry shampoos that are back in style now but they spray out of a bottle and folks - that just gets clogged up and is a big waste of time and money. All Nighter comes in a shaker bottle like baby powder. And why not use baby powder you might ask??? Well, you could but then your head would smell like a baby's butt and your hair would be kinda white so if that is the look you are going for go right ahead. Don't ask just trust me on this one...I got my All Nighter online at www.abeautifullife.com for $18.00 and I really like it. You can even get it in colors to match your hair color.Since I am a natural BLONDE I got the platinum/neutral shade.

Now my other new product is for giving your hair a shine boost and improving the condition. WE all know summer is tough on our hair. Sun and pool water really wreck it. Moroccanoil is all the rage and in all the mags right now. And one of my friends (LV)with the most amazing curly hair without any frizz just happens to use it. And it is great for all hair and it really does help with the frizz, drying time and the shine is amazing.This is sold in salons - ask me if ya know me or go online to www.moroccanoil.com to buy it. A small bottle is 14.00 and should last forever. This is very concentrated and only takes a tiny tiny little bit to work.

So from fake dirty to super shiny it is all about the hair. A good hair day = a great day. As usual it has taken me forever to tell you about two things...so I will save the rest for later but til then if ya go to the grocery store and you like key lime pie you will LOVE Yoplait new Fiber One yogurt - Key lime pie is to die for!! All that is missing besides the calories is the graham cracker crust. Delish. And good for you!!