Almost Summer

Two more days and my baby will officially be a Senior in High School!! Wow, time really does fly. And in two more days it will officially be summer at our house. This is where the time thing can get interesting. Will it fly or drag by in an unending blur of what's to eat?? Do??? You know what I mean. I've said before the only way to survive teenagers is to just let them sleep. Nyquil works too. Honestly, when they are sleeping you can almost pretend they are sweet little babies again. Except you don't have to nurse them or change their diapers. And if you are still nursing them - then you are a FREAK and need serious help. Now you know how I feel about the woman on the cover of Time magazine. Back to sleeping teenagers. I have had friends to complain about all they do is sleep. How they HAVE to WAKE them up or they'd sleep til noon. Really?? I say be really freaking quiet and if you are lucky they will snooze thru breakfast and lunch!! Two less meals to make and clean up!! Score. Of course, you have to make a really big dinner to fill them up, but once in the kitchen works for me. An order of Dominoes for appetizer course followed by a pasta dish and brownies and everyone is fat and happy. And speaking of Dominoes - make sure your teen has a job!! Mine is slinging pizzas at Dominoes and it is awesome. Teens and down/awake time is a scary thing. I prefer mine in uniform saying, "Thanks for calling Dominoes. How can I help you?" Sure beats - I'm so bored whats for lunch? Or God forbid, " I'm thirsty can I nurse?".....let'em sleep and get a job I say!! Summer time to me is all about the pool and sitting outside with a great book while something really delicious is cooking on the grill. Add some veggies roasting in the oven and a really good, crisp, cold white wine and I am a happy girl. And a good book. Right now I am pretending it is almost summer. I had everything ready to grill and roast when Wonderman came home from work with an entire pan of something wonderful left over from an in office lunch. Talk about timing. You have never seen anyone throw stuff back in the fridge as fast as I did. I didn't even mind I'd spent and entire morning on Pinterest copying my fav recipes from my board - More Junk for my Trunk/recipes - That trip to the grocery store was not a waste and now I have a fab dinner tonight and something all ready for tomorrow night. Score. Back to books and wine. Book is hilarious - Let's Pretend This Never Happened by Jenny Lawson. She has been one of my favorite bloggers since I started doing this. Both of us blogged on a site called pnn.something or other...not sure it is still there. But, she was a big freaking deal on that. FAMOUS. Crazy, stupid, SHE DID NOT SAY THAT OUT LOUD funny. Could not get enough of her or her balls to walls sense of humor. She even helped me fly my own freak flag in the beginning of my blog. Sadly, I've calmed my freak flag just alittle lately. You have to be brave to let the f bombs drop freely. My kids have started reading and that reigns me in just a little bit. It was easier for me back when I was still doing this anonymously, Which is why my hubs is called Wonderman, and he is. My kids are babygirl and boychild. Now that some of my nearest and dearest are actually reading this, I haved tamed my inner fbomb. Reading Jenny Larson makes me miss that inner voice inside my head that is usually screaming it at all the freakin idiot drivers I am forced to deal with. Just cause they like to drive their cars too. In my way. Back to Jenny's book. It is freakingly FUCKING funny. Her fault, her fault. She is fearless and funny and if 1/4 of the crap she is making me spew good wine out of my nose is true. Then DANG. Buy this girl's book. Pour yourself a cold, crisp glass of wine and fight off the freaking nats and enjoy the start of almost summer time. And speaking of wine and nats...don't get me started. I'm thinking either a wine spoon to scoop them out is needed or maybe an adult sippy cup made out of glass so we can sip our wine all classy like without any freaking nats!! So here's to summer! Let your teens sleep - their growing brains need it/whole lot less for you to deal with, grab a good book, throw stuff on the grill or back in the fridge and pour your wine in an adult sippy cup!!! Enjoy.

You Need This

If you hate the time it takes to dry your hair you are going to love this new brush by Goody - Quickstyle...trust me. Stop reading right now and run to Target (where I got mine) or any drugstore that sells Goody products. GO!! This brush will change your life. And it only costs 11.99...I predict they will become hard to find and will be selling on EBay for $100's. No joke - it really does cut the drying time by more than half. And I was able to get my crazy curly hair straight too. I have only seen the paddle brush in magazine ads and stores. I have been using a round brush and it took me a minute to get the hang of the paddle brush. This one has micro fibers between the bristles and it feels very gentle on your hair. I just got mine after LB told me she had it and loved it...I've used it once and wish I had actually timed my blowout. I think it only took about 12 minutes. It usually takes about 30-45 minutes. Yes, people. I call it my arm workout and I am exhausted by the time it is done. Has a lot to do with why I only blow it out about 2 times a week. The bad news is now I'll need to drag myself to the gym more often for arm work. Still loving the brush. I even took it with me when I went to get my hair cut yesterday and my hair guru was amazed by it and was getting hers after work. I continue to hear that everyone is loving the Garnier BB face cream. It really does make your skin look amazing. I also love this new powder by Physicians Formula. I know that when we reach a certain age we are told not to use powder. I try to keep it light and only on tzone. Except for this new one...it goes all over and it is awesome. It is Youthful Wear - Translucent Illuminating Finish. It is sheer and light and just makes you glow. Make sure it is the Illuminating finish. I've also decided to join the fake and bake crowd. I know I have made fun of all the umpaloompas on TV. I am trying to avoid the orange orangutan look. My boychild is having way too much fun calling me Snookie now. I've done three spray tans and all but the last one turned out great. Let's just say bronzed palms and foot soles were not the look I was going for. The barrier cream they provide did not work and someone didn't clean out the floor of machine from previous customer. EWWW. Yes, I will stand on flip flops next time I go. I also went to my friend TM the Self Tanning Queen and she recommended her fav tanning product to use at home...Bath & Body Works True Blue Spa Bronzing Self Tanning Lotion. I'm really liking it and the price - $15.00. Babygirl and I had been using one from Nordstroms called Xtan and let's just say it is MORE than $15 bucks. Both work, I just have always hated the smell. Decided I could live with the smell for a few hours over the sight of my legs without color. I just wish I was talented enough with the tanner to create muscle tone and smooth tight skin. Bet that would be a best seller and more than $15. Even though I hate them I still think we should bring back panty hose. First let's change that name. That would help. I heard Leggs Eggs were coming back,all thanks to Princess Katherine who wears hose on occasion. I'm seriously thinking about investing in some Wolford sheer leggings myself. That sounds so much better. Til then I'll be tanning and smelling :) So I guess it is time for Snookie to shut up and go hit the gym...trust me - go get the brush pronto!!!

Hat & Heel Heaven

The Hubs and I are just recovering from our recent visit to Hat & Heel Heaven. Some of you might know it as the Kentucky Derby. I heard there were some horses and betting involved. Wonderman/Hubs knows more about the betting. I was too busy slobbering over all the amazing hats and heels and dresses and people. Yes, I watched the horses and those tiny little people on their backs run around the track. Couldn't help it - we had amazing box seats on the grass - eye level with the thunder of those beasts and riders all decked out in a rainbow of colors. While the horses were resting, we could turn the other way and watch the sea of humanity in the famous infield. Our box was right on top of the tunnel that everyone entering the infield suites and well the field had to go through. I never got tired of watching the hats, the people and the people staggering around. That would be the fault of too many mint juleps. Lucky for me these are an acquired taste. I never acquired a taste for bourbon. I prefer my mint with chocolate. Add some chocolate to the julep and I'd be staggering with the rest of them. Back to the hats. I spend about 4 days out of 7 wearing a baseball hat due to tennis or walking or just being too lazy to dry my hair. Washing is easy, it's the drying that takes forever and a lot of arm muscle. I am also fond of wearing hats at the pool. I have more than one straw hat for that. I have even managed to limit myself to one really cute cowboy hat. I do live in Texas after all. The count is slightly higher on cowboy boots. Oddly enough at the Derby boots are not so much in demand. I was told by my Derby experts that heels would be required at all events. Now I have heels. Love my heels. Wonderman really loves my heels. My heels just don't always love me. Or my feet. Most of my heels only leave my closet to go to dinner. Dinner that involves a fancy place with valet parking. So yes, the thought of wearing heels to events that involved actually walking great distances and standing in them for hours had me slightly freaked out. But, I was determined to suck it up and walk proud with my sisters. No one ever said beauty didn't have a price. Back to the hats - It is all about the hats at Hat Heaven. Cisco set us up with Hats by Dee. They have been making hats in Louisville forever. They were so easy to work with online and over the phone. Did I mention I LOVE hats??? I was in Hat Heaven all day. Could not stop admiring all the hats around me or even pick out one to be my favorite. Just too many to admire and choose from. I even managed to wear my heels without too much agony. Lucky for me our amazing event crew - Back 9 Promotions - did an excellent job for us/Cisco and our guests. This was not their first time at this dog and pony show. They provided flip flops for all the girls and our barking dogs. After a couple of hours, all but a few of us were proudly strutting back to the motor coach - fancy for bus - carrying our fabulous shoes, while enjoying the comfort of our flip flops. I'm not saying I didn't leave the weekend without a few blisters. I did. I also met some really amazing new people and got to know some friends even better. We were also thrilled to meet Bob Evans, Chairman and CEO of Churchill Downs. Through him we were so honored to meet Dakota Meyer, Marine Medal of Honor Recipient. As for the horses - they were beautiful and fierce. The Derby is truly a bucket list event. We were so blessed to be there. My heels are back in the closet and my hats arrived home today by UPS and with a little help from my new friend Jan. I am fighting the urge to wear them while running errands. I guess I really should just go with the baseball cap for that. Still. Hat & Heel withdrawal isn't easy. Till next year....in the mean time - here is a drink that I do like...Let's call it the Skinny GirlyGirl Beerita : one can of Bacardi's frozen margarita mix, 4- 6 lite beers & one packet of crystal lite drink mix, tequila to your tasting - mix and pour!! Cheers to beeritas, hats & heels!!!

50 Shades of Grey

Or 50 Shades of Red if someone catches you reading this book. Which is probably why most of the Kajillion women in the world are reading it on Kindles, Ipads, Iphones or other devices. I've been reading my naughty books on my iphone for awhile. Kind of miss those covers though.

I was so surprised that I almost missed the Grey Party...thanks to SJ and NH recreating THE SCENE from When Sally Had an Orgasm the other day at lunch just talking about this book. Hilarious - trust me they like this book A LOT. Being the know it all that I am they were so excited to share something with me that I had not heard about. Within two days every paper and magazine had a story on this book phenom. It was the cover of Entertainment Weekly and top of book lists covered by Wall Street Journal. Movie deal is already signed.

Story is the author was just kind of blogging a takeoff story on the Twilight series. Kind of Bella and Edward for grownups. With major kinky hangups. Not gonna spoil any plot or story lines. Actually not a lot of that yet. Just lots and lots of kinky sex. Easy to see how this book gets everyone off. Pun intended. Most of us are too busy and too tired to actually have sex. When we do I'm just guessing it is probably a little vanilla. Nothing wrong with vanilla. This book puts sex out there in the Ben & Jerry category. Lots of sex beyond vanilla. It is no secret that I am a big fan of what I call my Happy Books and my hubs calls our Foreplay Books. Hey, everyone is happy. And I was so happy to see my friends going on and on and on about a book. Especially the one that "doesn't read" books. They are even rereading this book.:)

I'm on book two out of the three. I'll admit book one lived up to my standards of "happy" book material. Not loving the main characters though due to character issues. He's a control freak and she is a major whiner. Lack of plot not a problem cause the sex was hot. By book two the shock of kinky sex was wearing off and even their sex was starting to sound vanilla. And she was stressing and whining cause he was too rich and fabulous. And he was so busy telling her when to sit, eat, wear a coat...seriously. What happened to the whips and chains??? Not to rain on anyone's parade but, I need a plot and characters I can relate to. Right now I'm more interested in the body guard. What's his story??

So if you are enjoying 50 Shades of Grey or if not and ya want to read some books that will keep you up at night and not just reading :))) try some of my favorites. Just type in books in that handy little search box in the upper left corner of my blog. It will take you to previous posts. Check out the Vampireholic Post...several series of books are listed. Check one out. Dare ya.

Stuff, Stuff, and More Stuff!!

I've been busy blogging in my head...just not here where you can read it. Just like I've been really busy in my pretend Pinterest world. I am so busy collecting amazing recipes that I am too busy to actually cook them. I am also in love with every single thing in my Dream Closet Board. I have so many amazing outfits to choose from I can't decide and therefore never leave my house...don't get me started on my Dream House and Fantasy Backyard Boards. Not to mention all the ridiculously awesome craft projects I've posted - I mean PINNED - to my I Can Do This Board....When I really have time to spare you will find me laughing at all the cute and funny things I pin on my Just Giggles board. I am not sure where the time in my day goes...I barely have enough time left to squeeze in Face Book, emails and Words With Frienemies. So I do apologize for not finding the time to share the Good Stuff here.

So Let's get to the sharing!! I've got lots of stuff to share just nothing to give away - even Oprah had to stop with all that. How is she anyway? Never have found that Oxygen or O channel. Speaking of channels - we switched to AT&T Universe and I have to tell you I LOVE it!!! All my fav shows and I can watch them anywhere in my house. I am so excited about that. Even better we kept our tv signal yesterday when tornadoes tried to blow us all in Dallas away...

Back to the stuff - in no particular order:

BB Creams - newest face stuff hitting the shelves here. Been a big seller in Asia for awhile. All the big lines are coming out with one. I've been using Garnier's Skin Renew BB Cream. BB stands for beauty balm. Think tinted moisturizer with extra benefits like sunscreen and line and pore minimizing properties.

Neutrogena Clear Face Sunblock SPF 55...I really like this because I can wear it under BB or base and it gives extra protection on days I am out in sun having fun. For body sunblock my new fave is Ocean Potion SPF 30 anti- aging. It smells amazing and gives your skin a little glow. Thanks LV for sharing this with me :))

For days you are having a breakout I ordered this next find online- LaRoche-Posay Effaclar Duo - dual action acne treatment. Worth the trouble and shipping - it works. Even better than several prescription lotions. I'd been having a little side effect to all the wonderful benefits of being on hormones. They do make you look and feel younger. They also can trigger acne. This product has really helped keep that under control. I do hate talking about zits cause the minute I do - BAM - big honkin zit.

New favorite mascara - Revlon PhotoReady 3D Volume...not crazy about 3D movies but this mascara is great. It thickens without looking like Tammy Faye Baker (RIP) and it doesn't flake off during the heat. It also washes off without removing your eyelashes. Each and every one of those is precious. Especially if you are growing them with Latisse. I have several friends using the knock off versions and they are very happy with the results.

Hoof Alive has saved my fingernails...due to thyroid problems my nails were a wreck. Constant peeling was driving me crazy. It was impossible to keep my favorite nail colors on so I just had to give up and go bare. Found this at Mikes Health Food Store (Love Love Love)...I'm sure it has an interesting story involving horses but all I cared about was my nails. Finally! The splitting has stopped. This stuff works and smells amazing. I keep little jars everywhere and just rub it on and my nails and cuticles look the best ever.

My other life changing find at Mike's came from Dr. Oz and Mike is having a hard time keeping it stocked. Raspberry Ketones. Just google it. Bottom line - I am down 6 lbs. and that includes Spring Break week - about half of that without changing my diet. Even when I over eat & drink it doesn't show up on the scale. Loving that.

More Magazine...In case you are thinking I'm an obnoxious know it all - I'm not. I just love reading More Magazine. And I love sharing things I love with you. April was full of great ideas and I was so excited to see some of my fav things mentioned. Great tips for women of all ages. My favorite eye pencil Urban Decay 24/7 gunmetal was mentioned in Tips in Your 50's. I also use an illuminator under my eyes most days instead of concealor. It doesn't cake up in fine lines. On days when bags are really bad, I do use a concealor but just on bottom of eye socket/top of cheek bone. This works better than too close to the eye. My cream blush is by Clinique Blushwear Cream Stick in Black Honey. A lot of companies are coming out with glosses with staying power...I love gloss and Rimmel has one called Stay Glossy that is glossy without being sticky and no icky smell. Not big on smelly glosses. Not sure it lasts all 6 hours just cause I tend to reapply out of habit.

And that's all I have for today. Time to go to my real closet and move the mounds of clothes around. No wonder I'd rather stay in my Pinterest Dream Closet.

I''m not the Fat Elvis...

I am so glad I did not lead with this....Bon Jovi did...Google it. We all know Elvis had problems and he got fat and died. I've already talked about Saint Whitney, and no she didnt get fat, she just died. Not my fault, dont' shoot me. I did however, call out Rush Limbaugh on my FB... and that did generate just a little bit of chatter..whatev. I still stand by he is a total idiot. NO filter - He is just out for the big buck and please dear GOD let somebody still be listening so I have a radio job. Yes, you do. As long as sponsors pay. Heard you lost of few and so not sorry to hear that. Calling a college student a slut and whore because she wants her insurance company to pay part of her health care costs for birth control... A SLUT AND PROSTITUTE...really, did ya throw some stones too?? The man addicted to pain meds?? Really...a college student WORKING and wanting her insurance company to help cover the cost of birth control? Did anyone notice the word "working", NOT a free handout. Just so glad you didn't say that about my daughter. I am more than happy to make sure this is not a problem. Because I can. I just wish every girl/woman could. If you want to stop abortions then step up and help cover the costs of birth control. Or step up and adopt, pay for and send every unplanned child to college. Go right ahead. Put your money - for being a shock jockey - where your mouth is. PAY UP. Cause if birth control isn't covered...somebody is paying for it. Long term or short term. Babies are a gift from God but, they should be wanted, planned for and provided for.Period.

Drugs Don't Care

Been a busy week...everyone is obsessed with the latest media shocker. Still. Tried really hard to keep my mouth shut on this one. This is supposed to be about the Good Stuff. Sometimes stuff happens. Bad stuff happens to good people and we have no answers. Good, sweet boys sign up and defend our country and pay with their lives. EVERYDAY. Good boys. Our boys and GIRLS. They choose to do the right thing and sign up and go to war so we can all live our lives. Maybe if they are lucky they will get to ride in a parade. Usually after they are severely injured. And only if they are special. Sometimes we even join together and build them a home and that is great. Rarely, though do we fly flags at half mast in THEIR honor. Too many boys and girls, too many flags. Heard the flags in New Jersey flew at half mast this week...not for a fallen soldier though. Rumor has it flags flew at half mast to honor someone that was born with a God given TALENT. Someone really special. She had an entire Baptist Church Congregation and loving family supporting her. AND apparently - the whole frickin world. AND that was not enough. She didn't go to war. She didn't risk her life for others. She risked her life to get high. She wasted her amazing voice - her gift from God - over and over for drugs. Tragedy? Yes. Big surprise? I don't think so. Flags at HALF MAST? I don't think so. Gave her life? No, she wasted her life. Did heaven get another angel to sing in the choir? No. Heaven got another drug addict to sing in the choir. Sad? Most definitely. Save the flags for our children that go to war. Drugs don't care.