Unless you have been hiding under a rock or totally given up on staying current on all the trends in clothing, you know that you must have a boyfriend now. And he needs to be the right size so that you can steal/borrow his jeans and blazer. I know!! Who thinks up these styles??? Personally, I never ever wanted a boyfriend that was my size...I always preferred boyfriends that were bigger than me cause then no matter what - I got to feel dainty and girly. If his thighs or butt were smaller than mine, well, THAT was a definite deal breaker. Cause yes, my friends THAT does make your ASS look BIGGER!!! Cause it is!!!Which is probably why I ended up married for the last 21 years to a Wonderful Man (Wonderman), who just happens to be 6'7. Which is perfect for always making me feel small and dainty even if I'm wearing 5" heels. Okay, 4" is my limit but I could if I wanted too. So as far as shoe shopping goes the sky really is my limit.
Back to the boyfriend trend. You see my problem here???First of all, Wonderman would not be too understanding if I went out and got a boyfriend my size. And his jeans and blazers are out of the question. Hobo is not the look we are going for here. So then I tried my son's closet. Yes, that felt a little creepy due to the whole "boyfriend" part. But, hey - he has a practically unused blazer from NORDSTROMS that he got for his seventh grade cotillion class...perfect. Except it would fit me better if he'd gotten it in the eighth grade when his shoulders were a little bit wider. Dang! If I wore it with nothing on underneath it just might fit, but then we'd have another problem. Well, two actually. Crap - was really hoping that would fit me. Then I saw his jeans - Bingo!! Okay, I am not telling his size but in my head and a perfect world these should fit me too. And I did get them on. Just barely.
Let me just say, lycra is truly a miracle fiber and all us girls have gotten so used to it being in just about everything we wear that it is truly a shock when we slip/stuff ourselves into anything/especially jeans that do not have it. That last little inch/or 3 more between the button hole and the freakin button - well, there is no give at all. That sucker is not going to slip into that hole easily. No wonder guys are always messing around down there!! Some genius fashion designer needs to make men a pair of jeans with a little touch(naughty monkey!) of lycra down there...then when stuff happens...instead of all that grabbing (and by the way, YES - we can't help but notice when you get all busy down there!!) the magic jeans would just give a little and no one would have to know. Like when we have on our best jeans and we eat a little too much and those jeans just take care of that little extra food baby for us.
So hubby's closet and Gman's closet are not showing me the love - time to take this fashion hunt to the store. Now, being stubborn and fixated on this whole boy part of the trend that is where I headed - the boys department. I want a REAL boyfriend blazer and jeans - minus the real boyfriend. Plus, I know for a fact just like shopping in the junior department the boys's stuff is cheaper. And since this is a trend let's try that first. It was a good idea but again the lack of lycra was a problem. That and all the funny looks I got when I tried on a blazer. Even I was smart enough not to try on jeans there. So back to the girls department. Hello Pretties!!!
Save time - hit the girlfriend side of the store!! Lots of lycra and cute little blazers that are slightly fitted at the waist so no more hobo looks. And the jeans are just right too! While baggy and comfy they still manage to make your butt look smaller! Pocket size and placement along with a touch of lycra works wonders. So now I am the proud owner of a cute little perfect size for me boyfriend blazer and just the right amount of baggy without making my butt look bigger pair of boyfriend jeans. Without all the drama of a real live boyfriend. And best of all it's Saturday! Time to try it all on with some rockin heels - grab my boytoy hubby and call it a date night...we are going to see Couples Retreat with some friends - will let ya know how this latest trend works out!