Tuesday, June 19, 2012

How Did I Miss This...

I have always been the first to admit I have a tv problem....thank God for Tivo, Direct TV and now the holy grail UNIVERSE!! What they all boil down to is - 1. NO COMMERCIALS, unless they are cool and funny - like those baby commercials and that chick in plaid talking to that dude about matching stuff. FUNNY. Don't remember what they are supposed to be selling but that is not my problem. 2. Being able to watch what I want to watch when I am good and damn ready. Which is why I have 88 episodes of New Adventures of Old Christine, 12 episodes of Duck Dynasty, two seasons of Weeds, and a whole bunch of Cake Boss Crap that my BabyGirl is obsessed with. Not into people making cupcakes like it is a freakin Olympic sport. Seriously. It.Is.Not.A.Sport. A big ole sugar rush but not a sport. But, back to what is watch worthy and I almost missed. Old Christine... !! Who knew? Especially the second season and I have always loved Wanda Sykes!! OMG. That is one funny woman. Her voice alone makes me laugh out loud. Or LOL. ALOT. As for Duck Dynasty my kids sorta had to drag me kickin and screaming. Okay, they got me a little tipsy on my favorite wine and held my eyelids open while they fed me popcorn and made me watch. And yes, I LOVED IT!! What is not to love about this show. Being from the SOUTH of some SOUTHERN state this show reminded me of all those sweet southern boys I had so much fun with and could not run away from fast enough. Good thing I am such a fast runner. I had no desire to spend the rest of my life sitting around while they went "huntin" and bringing home "dinner" for me to skin and cook. Notice the word SKIN - very important cause in the south you might not only shop for and cook and clean up after dinner but you might also be expected to actually SKIN your freakin dinner. I prefer my vegetables already SKINNED and packaged and FREAKIN PREWASHED. Guess where I stand on my meat? But, I can appreciate a great show with a bunch of bearded fools in camouflage with the next hunter. And they are FANTASTIC!! Do not get me wrong. I love this show. But, I will admit to Uncle Si that I am the original Uppity girl that he warned his nephew not to marry. However, I am also a damn good cook. Just want someone else to skin and prepare it for the grill for me and then step back. Cause this Uppity, preppy, prisspot can GRILL. Burning Love - Ben Stiller's spoof on the Bachelor at burninglove.com And speaking of things I almost missed here are a few of things I just don't get... 1. Adam Sandler. And any movie he is in. How and better yet, WHY do these movies still get made? WHO is paying for this? And don't say all 12-15 year old boys cause that is just well, actually, a major insult to ALL BOYS 12-15 Years old. Really. The worst movies and don't even get me started on his personal acting skills. REALLY? Again, I keep hearing how hard it is and how long it takes to get a movie made in Hollywood and THIS keeps happening? WTF??? I think he must be mobbed up and they just need to wash that money somewhere. 2. Marc Jacobs - Okay. I know I don't run in the high fashion circles. But, I do dream in my Vogue, Bazaar and Instyle magazines...not to mention my fierce Pinterest Dream Closet...but, his ads are just butt ugly. They even make really famous actresses look kinda well, just butt ugly. And Prada? Again, butt ugly. Now, Chanel? A girl can dream!!! Valentino?? Hello Beautiful. Manolo and Choo? LOOBS? Hells yes! LOUIS V? Worth every penny. And as for Michael Kors??? Don't even. I have a very close friend - spent almost a $1000.00 on a handbag and billfold. Within 3 weeks the handbag came apart on the inside seams...kid you not. She went back to the MK store with her receipt and was told by the MANAGER he was so sorry for her but he didn't want to take the hit on his store numbers by returning it cause he would have to eat it. TRUE.FREAKIN.STORY. Moral good girls? If you must, only by his crap at Nordstroms where they stand my their customers and not their CRAPPY suppliers when their shoddy designer goods fall apart. But, back to the Good Stuff (and Go Stuff the BAD stuff) here are some latest additions to things I love and you might need.... Maybelline's Eye Tatto Cream eyeshadow - it really does stay on and doesn't crease- even by the pool on a hot Texas day. I did that for research purposes people!! Of course, I don't put on makeup to just sit by my pool!! I was testing it out for all of you... Blotting papers - use these instead of caking your face up with powder when you are "glowing' too much. Okay, if you sweat like a hooker in church or at a political rally - stop over powdering your face. BLOT it away. Retinol cream for your body...this is still a work in progress but I am seeing progress. I think. I found a fairly cheap (under 10$) jar of retinol cream online. I have been using it on my crepy old lady skin spots - knees and elbow and upper inner arms if you must know!! Maybe I am delusional but I think it is actually making a difference. If retinol is such a miracle worker for our faces why wouldn't it work on our bodies? Will post name of it in a week or two - need to make sure it is really working. But don't you love the idea? As for cellulite? I am still going with tan it.Nothing seems to get rid of it. Even weight loss. Which might even be worse for it. Bummer. Still will go with skinny if I can.That and staying horizontal as much a possible. Gravity is not our friend. We all look better laying around versus standing up. So check out the Ducks, Christine and anything on the USA channel - fantastic tv happening there!

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