Monday, April 26, 2010

What Do I Know For Sure?

Love this question and I am borrowing it from Oprah...which makes sense if ya read the beginning of my blog. My original goal was to get lots of readers. Was hoping that IF Oprah ever called and said,"Girl, you are funny!!" I would say, "Why thank you!" And then she would fly me and any of my followers to her show. Trick was you had to sign up as a follower to go to Oprah. All I really wanted was to know who was reading....truth is - WE prolly ain't going to Oprah...she is about to hang it all up anyway. And ya'll are reading but not all are signed up. That's ok too. I hear ya. Now I still want to go to Oprah and Wonderman is working his connection...but it will prolly be just us and a hotel room in the Windy City and nothing wrong with THAT!! HA!! As for what I KNOW for we go.

1. There is only one perfect food - bacon. SHUT UP...I didn't say it was good for you. It is just perfect. Extra crispy to burned for me. Just did a lb. in the oven for book club tomorrow night. Making quickies/quiches with bacon and one with smoked ham and asparagus...Quick story - Book is fantastic...City of Thieves by David Benioff. Short version two guys have a reprieve from Nazis' firing squad in Russia if they can find a dozen eggs for Big WIG's daughter's wedding there are no freaking chickens alive within hundreds of miles much less a dozen eggs. Amazing story!!!Wouldn't mind if you stopped reading me right now and ran out and bought this WILL NOT BE SORRY!! Anyway, lots of food with eggs for book club. That's why my house smells like bacon and I'm trying really, really hard NOT to eat it all right now. Relax, I am not stupid and I have a backup lb. just in case I do. Just like to do somethings ahead of time. So I KNOW FOR SURE - BACON IS MY PERFECT FOOD.

2. Life happens and you just have to roll with it. Normally, I am freakin out the night before ANY party of any kind at my house. I am great once the party starts - you just do NOT want to be here 24 hours prior. Ask my family. Now, after adding two adorable puppies to my posse - let me just say that I have a whole nuther attitude to par-tay giving. SHIT HAPPENS. A lot. That is just how puppies roll. They don't really care bout nuthing else. If they need to do it. They WILL DO IT. So hopefully, tomorrow night all will go smoothly. And if it doesn't - well that is what Dominoes is for and by the way - if you have not ordered the new improved Dominoes Pizza - shut up!! Perfect food and delivery #2!!! Key word there is DELIVERY!!!Fo Show!! You really have to try it....and order online cause it is so easy and the doorbell is ringing before you even log off!!

3. Puppies are really cute for a very good reason...none of them would ever survive if they weren't...or let me rephrase that... none of them would have homes if they weren't so freakin cute...They are a lot of work and none of it smells good. Except for little puppy breath and that is amazing. So are little puppy kisses and that little look they have when they KNOW FO SHOW they have done something that little look. Really hate whatever it is that they have done and yes, it usually smells really bad. I like good smelling things. I really love for my house to smell good. Which is why I love my Orleans Candles. Creme Brulee. That's it - all I ever burn. Cause I Know For Sure this smells good to me. And I love my puppies. And don't forget the smell of little puppy feet. They smell good too - unless the little feets have stepped in the something they are giving you that cute little puppy look for.

4. And I know for sure...I can't sing. That really sucks for me. And you - if you are ever in my car and the radio is on. Cause I WILL be singing. I just won't sound very good. That is why I do not need an ipod. I'd be loving all my songs and singing along. WHILE I had on the little ear thingies and yes, YOU would be going, "OMG, somebody pull her plug and shut her up!" So, I know I can't sing and I know all that dancing they do on that tv show is a lot harder than it looks. And, yes the refrigerator/Kate needed to go home to her children. Cause, I can't sing and SHE can't DANCE. At all. PERIOD. NUFF SAID. WHITE MEN CAN'T JUMP AND THAT GIRL CAN'T DANCE. These very important things I know for sure. Oh, yea and one thing more. I am blessed.

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