Tuesday, November 29, 2011

Time for Christmas - AGAIN!!

Well, I had big plans to share all the fun things I did for Halloween with you...parties, recipes, costumes, etc....Then Thanksgiving happened and it was fabulous - Fried turkeys for three days and there is nothing better! And now I am in Christmas Crazy Mode. I don't leave the house unless there is something I can't live without as in it is necessary for decorating purposes. You should have bought stock in Michaels and Hobby Lobby. Too late now. We were home for Thanksgiving this year and it really threw me off my game. I will call it Christmas Denial. Usually, we fly back to Georgia and South Carolina for Thanksgiving and I try to decorate the inside of my house before we go. Works like this...take down all the Halloween crap and clean then put up all the inside Christmas crap. Invite no one in and no one will know you have Christmas up mid November. We will have a lovely normal Thanksgiving in South Carolina - come home and enjoy having the house ready for Christmas. Works for me. This year since we stayed home it went more like this. Halloween - awesome!!! I live for Halloween. The decorations, candy, costumes, candy, vampire movies, books, shows, candy and big adult costume party blowout...100% totally in to it. November 1, it all comes down. This is when I normally start putting up Christmas - kinda relaxed and slowly...I am calm and really enjoying Thanksgiving at Cindy's and just hanging with all my Atlanta friends & Family...I've got 90% of Christmas done. Lots of time for baking and shopping and wrapping when I get home.

Back to THIS YEAR. Halloween rocks! Blah, blah, blah, lots of candy, zombies and scaring cute little kids in amazing costumes. Not only were they the cutest ever they were also the nicest most polite children and teenagers ever. We take great pride in having the scary house in our neighborhood. I really get into it and so does the hubs. We have the scary music rocking the street and the car with dead people all in and around it. I let the kids get close enough to look in then I hit the car alarm and they LOVE IT!! Gets them every time. Due to a malfunction this year the music almost didn't happen. Great neighbors loaned us their boom box and then we realizied it was a blown fuse problem. Anyhoo - got the scary tunes going and passed out all the candy.

Next, day all zombies returned to storage and it was time to think about Christmas. Except we were staying home for Thanksgiving. I think we've stayed in Texas for maybe two Thanksgivings now. Very weird. We have always gone to South Carolina. Always. Bye Bye Halloween and hello Turkeys!! I turned those jack-o-lanterns around and brought out my meager little Thanksgiving collection of pilgrims and Indians and started working on my Thanksgiving Feast Menu. Borrowed a friends turkey fryer and OMG! Talk about the best Turkey ever!! If you have not had fried turkey you are missing out. Super easy. First - ELECTRIC turkey fryer is your FRIEND. You must buy one. Key word - ELECTRIC!! As in won't burn your house down. No scary propane tanks. That just freaks me out. Not to mention who wants to sit outside babysitting the frying turkey - not me. I plugged that baby up in my dining room - we hardly ever eat in there so it was nice to use it for a change. Gave the oil an hour to heat up, injected my thawed turkey with garlic butter sauce, rubbed the outside with a Cajun dry rub and fried that baby for 48 minutes. Since this was my first time frying a turkey (myself) I got a 12 lb. turkey. Plenty for just the four of us. NOT!! We almost picked the bones clean standing up in the kitchen while John tried to carve it. It was amazing!! The skin alone was my favorite. Along with the sweet potato casserole, green bean casserole, creamed corn, stuffing and cranberry relish followed by pecan pie with Blue Bell Pralines n'Cream ice cream and punkin pie (my kids love punkin pie)- no one went hungry. Since we barely had enough leftover to make leftover sandwiches (our fav thing about Thanksgiving) I ran an got another turkey breast to fry and one to fry and take to our tail gate party for the A&M vs. UT football game on the actual day. We did family dinner on Sunday before. That is why I fried three times. One big turkey and two breasts. The whole thing makes a pretty presentation but honestly, we only eat the white meat so in the future I'll just fry the breasts. So here I am all fat and happy on turkey skin. As for Christmas - I was way behind and starting to freak just a little. Especially when we got back from A & M game - nevermind who won - on Friday and instead of shopping and helping the economy like everyone else I was looking at a house full of not Christmas. Total denial. More like panic.

So here I am - day four of Christmas Crazy mode....about 75% done. I am thankful to be celebrating another one with all my friends and family. That is the important part. Not the food, decorations, presents or parties. It's the people. And as I get all caught up in the whirlwind of it all I just needed a little moment to stop and think about the people that make it all worth it. Thank you! And Happy Holidays :)

Friday, October 7, 2011

I'm Just Saying...

Yes, if I had a twenty dollar bill(inflation)for every time I've SAID that...been trying to think of a way to write about a whole bunch of stuff that is on my mind but not really connected in any way. Pretty much what comes out of my mouth on any given day. Trick is to tie it all in and keep you reading. Here goes!

1. Stick with me on this one - It is October and as we know by all the pink it is Breast Cancer Awareness Month. I can't imagine anyone on the planet that hasn't been touched by cancer. One in four either has it, has had it, has a loved one with it, or is no longer with us because of it. All four are scary. And WE ALL want to wipe Cancer off the face of the earth. We are getting closer everyday. Research is making amazing breakthroughs and we all pray to see a cure in our lifetime. Here is my thought. I know the pink campaign has raised a lot of money, attention, and focus on finding a cure. But, we still don't have a CURE. People are still getting and dying from cancer every minute. Don't we have enough pink stuff? Can we just put all the money into research for a cure and a way to make this miracle drug available for everybody???? I really don't want or need another pink hat, sweater, watch, lipstick, fancy dinner with auction items, or walk a thon. Let's just put the money on the cure. At the least a more humane way to detect breast cancer. I'm just saying. Money on the problem and not going to the business of raising money. Just imagine if ALL the money went towards fighting cancer. I'm just saying...

2. Now, I've either lost you or not - hopefully, either way you are scratching your head and still reading. One of my favorite things about October is the return of regular tv. Reality tv VS. Real tv...wait that is confusing me and I'm writing this. Reality tv VS. Tv with actors. Scripted doesn't really work cause even reality tv is scripted. Come on!! YOU knew THAT. I admit I have my little train wreck reality shows and yes, I need a 12 step program for all the other shows I tape and follow. THANK YEW sweet baby Jesus for Direct TV or whatever you use to record your shows. Second to a cure for cancer in my lifetime. Amazing. By the way, in case you are freaking about me leading with cancer - let me tell you this. THE ONLY WAY TO DEAL WITH THIS F'ING DISEASE IS TO FIND THE FUNNY! Gonna go off on a tangent here...laughter really is the next best thing to a cure for cancer. Pity party should last about a minute and finding a way to laugh will get you through it. When Wonderman and I spent about 18 months in Cancerland along with the amazing support group of friends & family that carried us thru it with meals, rides, walks, & calls...what got us through the daily grind of cancer treatment was the amazing staff, patients and humor. We decided that if we were going to have to be there everyday for treatment then let's get this party started. We made the most amazing friendships while we were there. Staff, family and patients. Everyday. Somebody laughed. Most days even the sickest person there felt like they too were at the party. Steve Jobs just left the party. He was there and he did amazing things. I guess I'm saying no matter where you are, what you have, make everyday a party. Find something to laugh about. If you can do that in a cancer ward with an IV into your heart you can do that anywhere. Back to the funny...

Train wreck tv/reality tv - Toddlers and Tiaras - wow THIS is real tv with real people that actually spend the hard earned dollars they don't have to dress their little precious baby girls like Las Vegas Strippers. For a cheap crown I'm SORRY TIARA that cost about $2. Yes, I have watched it. I think my hell on earth would be living next door to someone on this freakin show. How do you pretend to relate to these people??? Here is the show I want to see - Toddlers to Teenagers with Tiaras...can you even imagine what is in store for these children. And their very disappointed moms when they don't go home with the Tiara or happy future??

Real Tv - with real actors, scripts, wait what is the difference again? Lots of new shows this fall. Some have quickly bitten the dust - Playboy Club anyone? Call me crazy but I thought it was very tame by tv standards(snicker) today. I read that "people" were outraged by it's offensive material. Guess they weren't watching American Horror Story. Or anything with the word Jersey or Housewife in it...We consider True Blood family viewing at our house - our kids can drive so cut us a little slack. Yes, It does make us all cringe most of the time. I guess if they are old enough to drive and almost go off to war we kind of slack off on the whole vampire porn scenes. Got to tell you though even our almost 17 year old son decided he probably won't watch any more American Horror Story, but if he does he won't with us around. Far enough. Totally get that. I loved Jessica Lange's character and her creepy daughter...but Coach Eric Taylor is ready to hit someone in the head with his very much deserved Emmy for what is happening to our beloved Tammy - I'm sorry this is real tv...Connie Britton is doing her thang and even though this is light years away from her role on my ALL TIME FAVORITE TV SHOW EVER YET...If you did not watch Friday Night Lights you are a MORON...stop reading this blog - go buy the entire series and thank me later. I'm just saying...love Connie Britton and want to love her new show but me and Wonderman will be watching without the boy child. Maybe.

Other new funny shows - Happy Endings, New Girl and Two Broke Girls. Is it just me or are we finally getting that Lucy, Marlo and Mary weren't the only funny women on tv that kept us all watching. Why is it taking so freakin long for the Hollywould Hotshots to realize WOMEN are funny and people love watching funny women. We will even pay MONEY to go to see movies with funny women. Funny. Who knew. I'm just saying...Bridesmaids, Horrible Bosses & anything with Kristen Wiig, Martha Plimpton, Betty White, Tina Fey, Kathryn Hahn or Melissa McCarthy in it?? Gilmore Girls shout out to great TV...another one to go buy the entire series and watch it with your girl children instead of spending money chasing 2 buck tiaras! I'm just saying!! And did she rock Saturday Night Live or what???

As usual I'm on a roll and someone is begging for food - Dinner again??? All I do somedays is feed these people. Speaking of food and feeding people - I promised to share my AMaZing Brownie recipe...and Tequila Soup. Only have time for one so here are the brownies and just keep coming back if ya want to know more about Tequila Soup...Blog Blackmail :)

Best Ever Brownies So Far - confession I use a box mix. Do whatever let's you sleep at night. Life is short use a box, except for wine - that is just wrong. I am finally getting over my cork only snobbery. Don't push me with the freakin box stuff. Back to brownies:

Box - I prefer Ghiradellis's (you know what I mean - do not make me go to pantry to get correct spelling...fancy chocolate place in San Francisco - brownie mix at Sam's in big box. Use two bags for 9 x 13 pan. Just double your box mix of choice. Thicker & bigger is better. Brownies people - focus.

Add to whatever mix you use 1 tbsp of Expresso Powder. Finally found it a Williams and Sonoma. No it is not instant coffee. That will not work. Trust me. Mall, W & S. $10 worth it. Then pour into pan and sprinkle Fluer de Sel salt - fancy sea salt FLAKES -good luck finding that - took forever. Go to fancy grocery stores or online. Again worth every penny. Use it on anything chocolate. Delish.

After salt add any topping of your choice - I used caramel candy corn this time and let me tell you. Major hit. Feeding frenzy. Don't worry when they disappear into the the brownines. They are there. And people go crazy trying to figure out what makes these brownies so good. This is also an excellent time of year to use leftover Halloween candy on top of brownies. Obviously, not the crap no one wants to eat. That is just nasty and should be thrown out. Use the good stuff. Life is short. Chop it up and after salt sprinkle it on before you bake.

Then undercook your brownies by at least 5 minutes. Allow to completely cool before you cut. There ya go...the goodstuff of life - I'm just saying!

Wednesday, September 21, 2011

Help Is On the Way!!

I am so excited!! I've been asking friends to recommend landscapers and pool maintenance companies and have collected several names and numbers. I am seeing a professionally manicured yard and sparkling pool in my not so distant future. But that is not what I am so excited about...I have "help" for the laundry situation coming too!!! Now before you think I am one of those spoiled, bratty, Real housewives let me explain. I am actually doing this to help someone else. She is bored with HER life and looking for a change - this is not a joke cause I read it in the newspaper people. If you can read it someone said it, right? Back to my story - and I quote, "I often dream of quitting acting. Walking away and becoming a laundress or a sous chef or maybe writing other people's love letters for a living." Have I hit the jackpot or what! She is going to wash and fold my clothes and cook too???? Now, Wonderman doesn't need any help writting me love letters/texts, not really sure what the hell she is talking about there. Hollywood hoohoo if ya ask me. She can do that in her spare time as long as all my shit is clean, folded and most important -PUT AWAY!!! So, you can see Michelle Williams slaving away at my casa any day now. Just don't interupt her from folding and cooking to pester her for autographs. She is so over all that. I am all about making her dreams come true.

Speaking of help & Hollywood - I've gotten some other really good little helpers lately. I finally decided that I was really not having fun with all the hotflashes, loss of sleep and mental fog that had become my life. With the help of an amazing Dr. I am now on the Happy Hormone Bandwagon...and I am not alone. Just listen to Suzanne Somers and Rosie - they too are happier and hotflash free. Find a doctor that will listen to you and help you get your life back to normal.

I also have struck gold at Mike's Health Collection. The staff is so helpful and I can't say enough about how great they are. Two face products - one I read about in magazines, by MyChelle Dermaceuticals a Vitamin A Plus Serum. It is gentle enough that sensitive skin that can't tolerate retin A can use it and give you all the benefits of Retin A. Vote is in on Retin A being the miracle drug for aging skin. Now I can finally use it. Mike recommended HyaGlo a Hyaluronan Skin Serum for advanced Moisture Retention. First one at night before regular moisturizer and the second in the morning before moisturizer w/sunscreen. Remember - I only recommend what I have tried and love. These are fantastic.

At 50 we need all the "help" we can get...here are just a few more for you - Revlon Age Defying makeup. Love this product. It smooths and covers without looking heavy. Remember you can mix two shades to get the one that is just right for you. Tiny little squirt of each on the back of your hand, mix and dab where needed. Just where needed. Keep it light and by all means check in real sunlight. And hands down the BEST concealor I have ever used - Instant Age Rewind by Maybelline. This is even good enough to use alone. It covers everything and I know cause I just had about 6 places on my face frozen for sun damage. (why do they call it freezing when it burns like a &^%$*)I was good to go with a dab of this wonder product. And last but not least - the best hair treatment product I have ever used. One time and my hair looks like it did in my not 50's :) Thicker, shiny and bouncy!! Treat Me Right by Bed Head. Amazing, smells fantastic and it's a quick trick in your shower. Five minutes on and wash off - my hair still looked the same the next morning too!!

Hope & Help - just spreading the love to all today! Help me help you...keep sharing the Good Stuff! I've got to go make some phone calls and get my yard, pool and laundry taken care of...And if you haven't seen or read The Help - Do!!!

Monday, August 29, 2011

Good Bye to Summer 2011

Normally, I would be sad and crying now...but due to the unbelieveable frickin heat -and no, in my head I am not thinking frickin but that other little F word that when used every once in awhile makes you feel better when something just aint right. And if ever anyone has a reason to drop the F bomb on the weather/heat those of us living thru this summer in Texas DO....Go ahead and think it/say it with me - it is F'ing hot and we are over it!! Good bye Summer 2011!!! Here are some of the things that made it better for me and a few of my friends on fb - hope you like some of them too!

1. Things to do to get out of the fu'ing heat....MOVIES - Crazy Stupid Love!! Go see it and don't hesitate to buy it if ya miss it in theaters. Horrible Bosses & The Help were also great....Planet of the Apes and Fright Night were worth the air conditioned time...Still want to see Sarah's Key and One Day (read both books and loved them) and also Idiot Brother. Not that I have one of those....idiot never reads my blog. Also Bridesmaids made the list....

2. TV at home in air conditioning...Franklin & Bash - witty & very easy on the eyes with fantastic music and stories = great tv. Necessary Roughness, The Glades, Memphis Heat, White Collar, True Blood, Rizzoli & Isles, Happy Endings, etc...and for God's sake get Direct Tv, Universe, or whatever and record and watch on your time schedule...there is nothing better than being able to pause while watching tv except maybe forwarding thru commercials. And some of those are really funny now too.

3. Vacay places - we loved Crested Butte and check out this link to our fav condo there http://www.mtcrestedbuttecondo.com/, Hawaii is always a winner, cruises and anywhere cooler than here seemed to be a hit. We also loved Santa Fe and Taos on our drive to Crested Butte.

4. Books - mine were One Hit Wonder, First Husband, One Day - want to see that movie too!, Cutting for Stone and The Last Werewolf. Some of my friends loved...Secret Daughter, The Tenth Song, Shadow in the Wind, Unbroken, Night Road, Silver Girl, Pictures of You and Touch by Alexi Zenter.

5. Recipes - great brie appetizer:
1 round of brie - trim off rind and chopped into chunks, topped with chopped roma tomatoes and green onions. 3-4 dollops/tablespoons of pesto. Toss in dish and heat at 350 until cheese melts. Throw in a spoon and stand back ...serve on crackers and bask in the compliments...thanks, Suzanne!!

Great easy dinner - Just had it tonight :)

roasted beets with hot pickled okra and cucumbers : wash and trim ends off of three beets. Sprinkle with olive oil, salt & pepper. Place in covered dish and cook in oven @ 350 degrees for 1 hour. Cool and peel, season with salt - toss with several chopped hot pickled okra (check pickle section at grocery store - grannies shelf if lucky) and I love to add Rick's Picks The People's Pickle - a garlic dill pickle...If you can't find that, no worries just add your fav dill pickles and a little chopped garlic. Splash it with red wine vinegar and stir it all up and let it sit for about 30 minutes. Delish....

Pork chops on grill - grill hot, chops room temp with evoo, salt, pepper, lemon pepper, garlic on both sides....grill about 4 minutes each side if one inch thick...cover with foil and let sit...

fried rice - Birds Eye frozen rice in a bag with carrots and peas and corn...follow directions season with toasted seasame oil & butter & then "fry" or reheat in pan over medium heat, stirring until hot

roasted fresh okra - oven at 450. Okra washed and dry. Chop off ends and toss with olive oil, salt, pepper, garlic, lemon pepper... single layer on a foil covered pan - roast until charred. Black is good. My oven took about 25 minutes...don't be afraid to burn it. Better for you and better tasting than fried. Burn it. Trust me. YUMMMMM. Works with broccoli too. Just make sure vegetable is dry before oil and seasonings are added and spread in single layer in pan. Burn it...

6. Desserts - Freakin hot summer calls for ice cream...or as I like to call it Ass Cream...cause that is where it seems to go. And if you are going to grow a big ole Kardashian Ass this is how to do it....Blue Bell can do no wrong...worth every penny every time...but, try Kroger brand Private Selections chocolate chip and my new fav - Sea Salt Caramel...truly are no words for this..Just eat and embrace your curves.

7.Alcohol - Read the following responsibly...Whipped vodka - buy it and keep it in the freezer and sip carefully :). Bacardi's Frozen Margarita mix in the orange juice frozen section at grocery store follow directions with Tequilla and add one beer - 90 calories and yummy!! Bella Sera Pinot Grigio big ole bottle. St. Germain is delicious with Fresca. And Flora Springs makes a great chardonnay.

8. Friends and Family - mix them all up and enjoy!! And for the ones you missed - that is what Fall is for ...plan another get away to catch up and share the good stuff!

Wednesday, July 27, 2011

Fifty Fabulous Things to Share

I have been so busy/lazy enjoying my summer that I have fallen off the blog wagon. As of July 14, my new favorite number is 50...I had a great birthday and even though I was really looking forward to a good reason to eat cake nonstop I was slightly shocked by the number of candles on top. FIFTY candles take forever to light and not to mention they are a fire hazard. Hubs was all worried and feeling the pressure to plan some big secret surprise due to the fact that I was turning 50 before him. He really enjoys the bragging rights that go with being 9 months younger. At the last minute (Sunday 7/10) I came up with the perfect solution...instead of all the focus being on the big FIVE-O...I decided to send out an invite to my wild and crazy girlfriends and ask them all to come over the night before my birthday to help me celebrate and say goodbye to 49! We had a blast and trust me there was lots of celebrating and I enjoyed my last night of using my 40 Something Lolita wine glass. I'd been using it for months leading up to this night. I decided to find out who was turning 50 next and the lucky winner got to take my glass home and enjoy it until it was time to pass it on on her birthday in December. I just love fun traditions. So in the spirit of embracing 50 here are 50 things I'd love to share....

1. Whipped Vodka - it was a huge hit! Delicious sipped frozen or splashed with Limoncello (I prefer Villa Massa) keep both in the freezer.

2. Toasted Angel Food cake - it has always been my favorite and requested on every birthday as long as I can remember. Slice it and toast it and let it almost burn. Yum!!

3. Toasted marshmallows - do it Texas style...due to intense heat we prefer to use a fondue fork and toast that baby over the gas stove flame in the air conditioned comfort of our kitchen. Temp is right AND it is bug free. Seriously it tastes the same and they even have flat marshmallows now to make smores even easier to smash together!! Genius!!

4. - 25. Books!!! First a list of some of my favorites - Cutting for Stone (finished this morning and LOVED it!!) South of Broad, The Help, City of Thieves, all Janet Evanovich, Laurel K. Hamilton, The Tender Bar, Harlen Coben's Myron Bolitar series, Sarah's Key, The Outlander Series by Diana Gabaldon, Peachtree Road by Anne Rivers Siddons, The Room,and all of Chelsea Handler's books ....I could go on and on....

26. - 36. Here is a list on books I can't wait to read - Say Her Name,The Last Werewolf, Sentimentalists, Homecoming of Samuel Lake, Folly Beach, Iron House, Ten Thousand Saints,To Be Sung Underwater, Long Drive Home, Silver Sparrow, and again I could go on and on!!! Melinda these were for you!! Thanks for being my biggest blog fan!!

37. Movies - Horrible Bosses, Something Borrowed (add this to booklist too), The Switch, The Eagle (okay anything with Channing Tatum)

42. TV - My new fav is Franklin and Bash!!! Really miss Boston Legal and this helps. Plus they are really cute. The Closer, In Plain Sight, Necessary Roughness after one show it is looking good, True Blood (Add the books to top of that list!!!), Vampire Diaries, Modern Family, Raising Hope, Game of Thrones (read first book thought it was good but kinda slow), Memphis Heat, Good Wife and anything with Bethany Frankel and her cutie patootie husband and baby!!



50 plus. Music - After an amazing get away to Austin and Barton Creek we are crazy about this band. We got to hear them live and found out they are brand new. Brad Dunn and Ellis County. Ranch Cat is the name of the CD. Southern Rock at it's finest. Jamming right now while hubs/Wonderman is cooking and wooing me. Does life get any better than that? And to think I was worried about coming up with 50 fab things to share - here goes the girly girl stuff!

fave body cream - This one I mix myself - Start with CeraVe cream. I love this cream but it needs to smell better so I add my favorite scented body lotion from Bath & Body then it also needs sunscreen so I add Hawaiian Tropics Shimmer Lotion sunscreen. Mix it all up good and use daily and before bed. Amazing how much better your skin will look, smell and feel. Dare ya.

Secret deodorant with minerals is amazing - stands up to the Texas heat the whole country is getting to enjoy.... trust me if it works after playing tennis here it will work for you.

Urban Decay's Eyeshadow Primer Potion is amazing...and their Naked Collection of eyeshadows is great and almost impossible to find so run to Ulta and cross your fingers after being sold out for months it is back. Primer really works even in Texas heat! For a really pretty plum/brown that makes all eyes really pop try Cover Girl 530 Abrgnon(sorry that is all I can get off of label). If age, allergies or life is giving you extra baggage under your eyes here is the best remedy ever. Even Dr. Oz recommended it along with some wonderful "older" women from my past life in cosmetic land - Preparation H CREAM...trust me cream is what you want. Do not use the ointment. Just that word is reason enough. Smell is awful. Find the cream. Odor free and feels like any eye cream. Except it will shrink your eye bags. Follow up with moisturizer. And the miracle facial moisturizer is Pond's Cold Cream. Trust me! Face and neck will thank you!! Even hubs is addicted to this because it has cured his chronic rosacea and all the meds he used never helped.

Lips - start with the Fresh Sugar lip balms with Spf 15 - some have color all are the best ever. Use daily and at night. If your lips are fading keep a nice natural color with Revlon's Just Bitten Stain...I like Beloved. Let it dry before using the balm that comes with it or your gloss of choice. As for gloss my new fav is Smashbox Aura.

And to end this never ending list - YOU!! Everytime you say, " Hi, love your blog!" It makes me happy just to know someone is smiling somewhere. Sharing the good stuff!! Keep reading and please don't stop sharing with me!!

Tuesday, June 7, 2011

Finding the Good in ANYTHING

Keeping in spirit with why I started this blog could have been a challenge today. I try to keep it all positive and about things I LOVE...when I want to go dark about something I usually do it on my other blog - girlygirl.pnn.com. But I decided to challenge myself today and find a way to make this season's Bachelorette show a positive experience. The challenge is I am going to attempt this on caffeine instead of my beverage/funny juice of choice- it is 9:00 am and even I frown on wine for breakfast. Maybe a bellini or bloodymary...we'll see how this goes on coffee.

I could easily rant all day about all that is wrong with this season, this girl, these guys and the producers for allowing this assault on all that is good in this world. So here is my version of - ARE YOU %&^*(*% KIDDING ME!!! Rules are simple. Every time one of the things below happens next week as you are watching (and you know we will be!! Even Kelly Ripa won't be able to NOT WATCH AGAIN...) follow the rules.

1. Every time she touches her bangs - slap yourself in the head. This will keep you awake. It will also help you break the annoying habit of picking up her annoying habit of constantly touching her bangs. People that do this should not have bangs. Or hair. Bald people can't annoy us by touching their bangs. If there is a bald person watching with you kiss them on the forehead and score 3 extra points. 1 point for every head slap. Yes, you will need paper and pen to keep track of all your points.

2. Every time she climbs someone and bumps uglies while that person is standing - you must thank your mother out loud for raising you right and take a small sip of your beverage of choice (BOC). This is going to happen a lot so small sips are important. We must game responsibly. If you find yourself monkey climbing every man that says hello to you - subtract 5pts. For any men watching and playing with us - I know a few - if this has ever happened to you and you had naughty feelings down below subtract 5 pts. Hugging someone with 4 feet on the ground is fine. If you want to have sex standing up with your significant other go for it. If you are saying hello to someone stop humping them like a dog in heat.

3. Every time she thinks she is right cause she is following her instincts, her heart or her new outlook on life - Shout "You are an IDIOT" and take a small sip. If you think she is WRONG add 3 pts. Just add 100 pts. to your score and refill your glass. She is wrong, wrong, wrong.

4. Every time her voice grates on your nerves - blow a loud horn. Kazoos are fine too. If you have a bag of party favor blow thingies even better just pass those out. If everyone is blowing something (careful boys - naughty thoughts down below WILL cost you 5pts.)then hopefully we won't be able to hear her screechy voice. If you don't have any of these things handy then just mute the tv every time she says anything. You won't really be missing much. Keep sipping - blowing things makes you very thirsty.

5. Every time she "dances" apologize to dancers everywhere for the insult. Did I miss the show last season where they talked about her being a "dancer"? Thought she was a "dentist"...this season she is a "dental student" and a "dancer". Note to producers - not everyone that dances is sexy. Hitting poses to music is not dancing. Every time she poses/dances pause the show and bust out your favorite dance moves. Don't worry if you get into it and forget about the rest of the show. You are way more entertaining and you will not really be missing anything. Keep sipping sexy!!

6. Pick your favorite guy on the show - then google him. Find a way - anyway to tell him to RUN!!! There are so many better ways to be famous. To find TRUE LOVE. To spend 6 weeks. Then again they are all hanging out in California, living in a cool house, doing fun exciting things, never mind - let him stay. If he makes it to final rose ceremony give yourself 5pts. He if ends up the next Bachelor you get bonus 10 pts. If he gets sent home (lucky dog) score 2pts. If she monkey humps your guy shout "Get off my man you MONKEY GIRL!" You'll feel a little silly but take a sip and you'll get into it.

7. Speaking of the guys - every time one of them does something gross - yell the name of the game and take a sip. Whenever one of them pretends to be happy about getting a rose - yell "bullshit" and take a sip. Better yet, pause the show and find a deck of cards and play Bullshit. Again, don't worry if you forget the show. Cards can be fun. This is a great game. Kate Hudson played it in that cute movie with Matthew McHunky (can't spell his last name) even better just go watch that movie and forget this show!!

End of show/end of game - tally your pts. If You are doing something/anything more fun and did not finish this show YOU WIN!! If you are still watching to the very end add 5pts. for making it thru the whole thing. If someone is sitting on the toilet reading the paper - I swear I could not make this stuff up - add 20 pts. That does not count if that is happening in your house. Then again that counts for doing something more fun. If you are still reading this blog add 10 pts.

And in closing...in honor of all the poor roses that have been sacrificed for this stupid show...wear a red string around your wrist - no that weird religion does that already. Around your ankle - no Mama thinks those are trashy. I know - around your head!! Red headbands!!! In honor of all the roses...SAVE the ROSES!! Show your disgust for this show and support of our new cause - Save the Roses. Wear your red headbands proudly. And remember stop touching your bangs and hug with your feet on the ground!!

Monday, May 2, 2011

Favorite Stuff

Here is an update of some of my favorite things...Don't forget to pass on some of your favorite things for me to try and add here for everyone to try. You can either leave a comment if you are a follower or send me an email kmshelnutt@yahoo.com and I'll pass them on. Had a great girl gab fast last week and here are some things shared there and some I've been wanting to post...

Eye products - I tried two really good ones by Clinique :All About Eyes Serum - cool roller ball product that helps get rid of early morning puffiness and bags. Been coming in handy during allergy season. I put it on before coffee and then before concealor I use Clinique Repairwear eye cream. I still love CoverGirl & Olay Simply Ageless concealor. Shade 210 is great under eyes and 220 covers whatever you don't like on the face.

Skincare - Love, Love, Love Neutrogena's Rapid Wrinkle Repair Night - it's one of their newest and I'm going back to get the daytime one with sunscreen.

Foundation/Base - Revlon Age Defying Makeup - natural coverage and spf 20. Tip when choosing shade: don't go to light even try a shade just a little bit darker than skin on your face. Most of us have more sun on our necks and a slightly darker shade blended carefully will warm up your complexion.

Blush & Powder - Physician Formula is my hands down fav for these...the blush with the happy hearts on it is great and I'm hooked on all their powders and bronzers.

Mascara - New fav!! Almay One Coat Get Up and Grow....Great job without clumps and it stays put. Needs a little remover to wash off but not as much as waterproof ones. It is also supposed to help them grow longer. I'm still loving my Latisse but happy if this keeps them growing too.

Lips - I'm addicted to Sugar Lip Treatment spf 15 and Burt's Bees tinted lip balm

Nails - NYC in a New York Color Minute quick dry nailpolish. This is so easy to apply and dries super fast. Clear top coat gives a great shine and helps it last for days. If you like dark colors try Chinatown it is awesome!! I also love One Minute Manicure Scrub Tropical Coconut smells amazing and your hands and feet will thank you. Go to oneminutemanicure.com to order. Also great for summer sandals rubbing blisters is Band-AID friction block stick - use it as soon as you think a shoe is rubbing a blister and you won't get one.

Hair - For when you want to stretch out wash days or just add volume to thin, oily or even clean hair that you want to fluff up, try TRESemme FreshSTART Dry Shampoo for oily/straight to normal hair. Love this stuff!! Great for bangs that look droopey. For curly days when I'm too lazy to blow dry I love Got2b Kinky curling mousse. Just scrunch in and let hair air dry. Try to keep hands off after putting it in to keep frizz down.

Wish I had a way to index all products in previous blogs but so far cannot work that out. Don't forget to let me know what you like and want to share!!